This dream again... the same celebration, the same people present. Yorktown isn't here. Lightning wandered down the very same corridor yet again. This time, the other shipgirl's back is facing Lightning. This is different... Lightning reaches out, hoping that the dream wouldn't end now. Yorktown whipped around, her eyes cold as she slapped Lightning's hand away, causing the latter to recoil in shock. What? This isn't supposed to be happening! Lightning had no time to react as the words poured out of Yorktown's mouth, the pain piercing her heart like daggers.
"How could you leave me to die? You could have saved me!" Yorktown screamed. "Now, no one will want to be near you. It was all your fault. All your fault..."
Lightning jolted awake, the tears streaming down her face, her breathing ragged.
"No... no..." she whispered, "That cannot happen." Yet a small voice in her mind murmured, You are just trying to convince yourself, to tell yourself lies... Lightning shuddered as she exhaled. She needed some fresh air. No, that wasn't it. She needed to vent. Training. What time was it now? 2a.m. Great, no one will be awake, hopefully. Grabbing her bow, katana and some water, she headed to the training room, closing the door softly behind her.
She reached the training room without any issues and quickly switched on the lights. Unsheathing her katana, she swung it left and right, dodging imaginary enemies and bullets. The sharp blade sliced through the air effortlessly with accuracy and power as Lightning used it. Stabbing and jabbing the point, Lightning narrowed her eyes in determination as she rolled to the side, flipped and slid down to the ground, her movements graceful and fluid. She unleashed all her anger silently, the blows of her katana harder than ever, more destructive. Flinging her katana to one side, she watched as it ripped through the center of a target before dropping to the ground with a clang.
Wordlessly, she raised her bow, preparing to shoot. The surroundings changed around her as memories flooded back. It was that day again. She shot arrow after arrow, desperately trying to fend off the Sirens, yet the arrows seemed to pass harmlessly. she had to watch it again. Watch as the life left Yorktown's body, watched as the light in her eyes dulled. Powerless to stop it. Lightning fell to her knees, grief and sadness crashing down on her.
"I couldn't stop it. Again..." A single tear fell from her eye as she sang, softly and sadly,
"The weight of the things that remained unspoken
Built up so much it crushes me everyday
Every night I cry myself to sleep
Thinking: 'Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?'"
"Why?" Lightning whispered. Just then, she heard someone speak, or rather, sing,
"Push me out I'll pull you closer
When you think that it's all over
Know that you will never be unloved by me
Oh, you're bigger than this moment
Might be bent but you're not broken
Know that you will never be unloved by me
'Cause I know what you're made of
I know what you're made of
Burned out with the fire in your eyes
But you're gonna rise
'Cause you know how to fight
And you might fall down further than before
But it takes hitting the floor
To know you're worth much more"
Lightning turned around to see two pairs of blue eyes. Bismarck and Optimus, the battleship being the one that had sang.
"You will never be unloved by us, Lightning, all of us. Enterprise, Hornet, me, Optimus, Yamato, Essex, Bunker Hill, Tirpitz, just... please don't push us away," Bismarck pleaded, her voice trembling.
"But... but it was my fault! I killed Yorktown!" Lightning choked out, more tears falling.
"Please, Lightning, Yorktown would not want you to do this to yourself. It was not your fault, even Yorktown herself knew this. Lightning, you must stop blaming yourself," Optimus spoke up from where he stood. Lightning looked down to the ground, more tears threatening to spill.
"How do you want me to stop blaming myself? Every night, every day, that memory haunts me, never lets me go," Lightning sobbed.
"You will always be loved Lightning, it is normal to feel guilt, just don't push us away due to it," Bismarck whispered, tentatively holding out a hand. Lightning gazed at it for a long time, guilt raging within her still, but she took Bismarck's hand in hers as they both exchanged a small smile. Lightning stepped forward, hugging both of them tightly.
"I don't know what I would do if I did not have such good friends by my side..." she murmured.
"Lightning, we have always been here for you, and we always will be," Optimus said as Lightning nodded, letting all the tears flow.
Later that day...
Lightning sighed softly as she gazed out at the ocean. She had not gone out to sea since... she shook her head, banishing the thoughts from her mind. She just felt kind of useless... she guessed. Lightning averted her attention to the folder she was holding in her hands. She smiled wistfully as she ran her fingers across it, opening it carefully as she picked out a piece of writing, starting to read it, her eyes never leaving the page. The last few paragraphs hit her hard. They always did.
Bismarck hissed in pain as she endured yet another shot. She had no choice, no choice but to kill Hood. She wanted so desperately to turn away, to prevent that last shot, but there was nothing she could do. This was what she was made for, to kill without mercy. It was just so.. wrong. To watch the life drain from another's eyes. Someone who was the same as her. Now, the British wanted revenge. She was in agony, crippled and unable to flee. Death was descending upon her. She would never be able to meet her sister, the one she so badly wanted to know. And U-556 had made that vow. A promise broken unwillingly. She just hoped that the submarine was not here to see her. This was her own fight, her own suffering. No one else should suffer too because of it.
"You killed Hood! Ann unforgivable act, a dishonorable one. You will never be loved," Rodney had spat earlier. Bismarck knew this, she acknowledged it, her eyes dulling as she lost all the fight within her, tears falling from her eyes. Then, she had tried so hard to escape. She was a failure, she knew, but she had to try. It was hopeless, a cruiser was sent to finish her in the end. That destroyer, the conflict apparent in her eyes. But, like Bismarck, she had no choice. In a matter of seconds, everything faded to black.
Bismarck had read this. Lightning had shown it to her. And as Bismarck started crying, she managed to say one sentence, one that Lightning would never forget.
"You always have the choice now, cherish it, forever..."
That's another chapter completed! Hopefully the next one will be up tomorrow! Thanks for reading!
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Unstable Loyalties
Fanfiction🗲"She is fierce and unpredictable - just like lightning, and within, she is just like a storm about to break"🗲 🗲"Fate... it is so solid. You can't turn back the hands of the clock, can't undo something already done. Yet, I can't even prevent any...
