I was walking through the forest holding my flashlight in my hands as I tried not to shiver from the cold, wordlessly, I kept looking everywhere.
Jungkook told me he was going somewhere, and he hadn't been back for a while, I knew something was wrong and thought he wanted space.
But I subconsciously knew I didn't want him to be alone, no matter what, I just continued to walk through, I knew I should have asked one of the guys to come with me but I didn't.
They were busy looking at every other place he could be while I looked at the forest, he worried us a lot and all I wanted to do was give him a good scolding.
But I knew I had to find him first to do it, So I continued walking through till I found the lake, and as expected, there he was, jeon jungkook.
He sat at the bank of the river, holding his legs close to his chest and his arms wrapped around them, probably from the cold.
Somehow he didn't look uncomfortable, the wind flowed moving his hair away from his pale face, his lips chattering due to the cold, but it didn't look like he bothered.
His expression was almost lifeless, it was as if he was just sitting there, while his mind drifted away to somewhere far, all of the anger in my mind dissipated.
He didn't notice my presence or hear the sound of the dried leaves crackling under my feet, he just stayed unmoving, as he gazed at the moon.
" Jungkook? " I called out softly, trying to see if he was okay, and the face that immediately turned around with a smile didn't turn or respond.
He sat there, still and completely void of anything, his lips and cheeks were a pale white now, signalling he didn't eat or drink anything from morning.
I walked towards him, turning the flashlight off, I patted his shoulder, getting him out of his daze as I kneeled beside him.
" Y/n? " his voice sounded weak, almost like a whisper, just slightly above it, acknowledging my presence, I looked into his eyes.
He looked scared, almost terrified of something, I immediately wrapped my arms around him as I let his chin rest on my shoulder.
He held me tightly, signalling he was almost panicking, I wanted to calm him down but I just didn't know how to, So I let my fingers run through his hair.
I did that for a while as he gradually loosened his grip, my heart broke seeing him like this, he looked so hurt, heartbroken and vulnerable.
I wished it was me who was in pain instead, I wanted to take it all on myself and make sure he was happy and okay, but I couldn't find away.
I was angry at myself for not being there for him, for not making him happy, I felt useless, it felt like I had become my greatest disappointment.
" Jungkook? " my voice was weak from all the emotions I was feeling, I wanted to erase his pain away, so badly, it felt like I was being suffocated seeing him like this.
" y-y/n I- I'm scared " he whispered into my ears, his voice breaking, I held him more tightly rubbing his back comfortingly, showing him it was okay.
" It's gonna be okay baby " I whispered into his ears trying my best to reassure him, I wished I knew what to do. I pulled away from the hug and looked into his eyes.
" I- " he tried to say something but he just didn't say anything, he looked down at my knees.
" Why are you scared baby? " I held his face in my palms, looking into his eyes, as we both shivered due to the cold wind.
" I- I feel like I didn't do anything- anything," he said, breaking me with those words as I looked at him.
" You're wrong jungkook, you did something. " I said gulping and trying not to get emotional but it was hard to do so seeing him at the brink of tears.
" B-but, I feel like I'm a disappointment, I feel like I'm not working hard enough, now I'm second-guessing my life, did I live it right? Am I living it right? " he asked, a tear falling out of his right eye.
" You're just 23, baby, you still have a long way to go, you've become the golden maknae of bangtan, you are one of the seven members of South Korea's pride, the inspiration for nearly 170 million ARMY, you helped so many people in so many ways, people who wanted to die found the courage to live, because of you, your music made them fight for themselves " I was emotional.
" B-but " seeing that he was trying to refute my words, I placed a kiss on his lips, with full force as he held onto my coat, making me kiss him deeper.
" Thank you y/n. Thank you for being my safe place. " he said, pulling away as he looked into my eyes, I shook my head and place my lips on his again, feeling relieved.
