Hurting yourself~ Hoseok
I was having dinner with my mom's friends and the neighbours, I sighed as they gathered around the dinner table talking shit about people. I really didn't know why my parents decided to call me downstairs just for this. I sat between hoseok and jiwoo, they just moved to the neighbourhood with their parents but I didn't bother talking to anyone. I never had good friends anyway. I just sighed and ate the last bit of sausage on my plate and got up.
" Everyone, I don't feel so good, I will excuse myself now" I said giving a light bow and taking my plate to the sink, I slowly washed it and dried it with the cotton cloth my mom left on the sink.
" I'm sorry, my daughter is just a waste of space" my dad said to them knowing I could hear them. I just sighed since I was pretty much used to this.
" Y/n, child go rest properly okay?" Mrs.Jung said to me slowly.
" Cut the fruits up and serve them to us, you can rest later" my mom ordered. I nodded and took out peaches and apples and sliced them into pieces and put them onto a plate and left them on the dining table.
I slowly walked above the stairs and noticed that they were talking about me.
" Mr. Jung, Jiwoo is such a great daughter" my dad praised.
" And then there's y/n, my daughter is such a slut I wish we just aborted her" my mom added salt to my wound.
They didnt care about my feelings, not at all, they had to say it out loud, feeling nothing even if they knew their words pierced my heart.
" Mr.Kang, don't you think you're being too rude to your daughter? The child did nothing wrong-" Mrs. Jung tried to stick up for me. I just sighed and locked myself in my room.
I opened my phone and saw that I had no notifications, I just looked at the mirror and sighed. Why was my life like this? Was I destined to suffer? I smirked to myself and opened my drawer and took a cigarette out and lit it up not caring about anyone that would smell it.
I took huge puffs and felt myself starting to get high, With the cigaretter in my mouth, I smiled and took a blade and slowly slit my wrists, making cuts all over my left arm upto my shoulder, since that hand was filled with cuts, I decided to use my thighs and cut them. The blood flowed a little, stinging my body all over but I didnt care. I took the cigarette out of my mouth and put it on my hand feeling the burning sensation come to my arms.
Somehow, hurting myself seemed to always relax me, it made me feel less guilty for being born and I just needed something to feel alive, I smiled and wiped the blood on the blade off and happily put it in my drawer. Finally I found a sharp blade, the previous ones weren't so good and I always had to double the amount of times I had to cut but now this was good.
I heard a knock on the door and I opened it slowly looking at the person that came in with droopy eyes, trying to adjust to the lighting of the hallway, I saw that it was the guy hoseok, I sighed and pulled my sleeves down before slowly giving him way to enter.
" Hey, y/n, I'm sorry, how are you now?" his hands ran through his hair while one was in the pocket of his jeans.
" What do you want hoseok?" I was frustrated, usually my parents wouldn't leave me alone since I needed discipline.
" I just want you to be okay" he said and sighed.
" Look you don't have to be polite, it's okay, just go, no one cares anyway" I said but I just realized after saying it that I was too rude.
" Y/n, I care" he said sighing and sat down beside me on my bed.
" Well, that makes one of us I guess" I said and looked at my phone.
" What's that on your pants?" he pointed to my white leggings now stained with blood marks from the cuts.
" I-it's just a pattern" I shrugged him off.
" Is it? Well I happen to like it so take off your pants" hoseok sounded angry.
"Wha- do you realize how that sounds?" I chuckled.
" looks like I'm gonna have to do it myself" he said and oulled them down without a warning, leaving me in lacy oink panties and a pink sweatshirt.
" W-why? Why did you do this to yourself?" he stuttered.
"What do you think?" I asked him slowly pulling my pants up.
" No take your top off" he said again.
" What you want me to be a striper for you?" I asked annoyed.
He hugged me tightly making me wince in pain from all the cuts and slowly wiped a tear that slipped his right eye.
" What why are you crying now?" I was confused.
" I hate this. I shouldn't have been a coward, y/n please dont hurt yourself anymore" he said clinging to me.
" Hoseok we never even talked at school what the hell do you mean?" I questioned.
" I know, it's just , I liked you since like a year but I was too afraid, and when I moved here, I thought I could make you happy but your parents- I just-" he trailed off.
" A year? Why? I am just bullshit anyway, hoseok dont waste your time on me" I warned him.
" Let me take care of you" he said and without waiting for my response, he kissed my lips.
