I heard my parents arguing in the living room, no matter how many times I heard them do it, it felt bad every time I did listen to it.
I felt the need to go stop them but they didn't bother to listen. I think they didn't know how much it would affect a person to see their parents fighting.
Knowing there was nothing I could do, I scoffed and walked to my room and shut the door tightly. It wasn't like they cared anyway.
Helplessly, tears started forming in my eyes as I felt a heavy weight form in my chest. I couldn't be like this. I had to do something to stop it.
" Who the hell is calling? " I scoffed talking the phone that was ringing continuously.
" Hello? " I said without bothering to look at the caller ID.
" Y/n it's me " Namjoon's voice came out. I wanted to end the call but he'd probably know what's going on so I decided to stay on the line.
" What is it? " I asked. I was kinda getting tired of picking up calls and my parents arguing sounded loudly in the background.
" Y/n are you okay? " Tears formed in my eyes, but I chose not to say anything due to the burning sensation in my throat.
" I'm fine. " I ended the call quickly and walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
I left my phone beside the bathtub after I got in. Wordlessly, I took out my lighter and the cigarette I bought recently.
I hated smoking but somehow I got addicted. It was the only thing that kept me sane. At least I didn't have the urge to take my sleeping pills.
I lit it up and started taking slow and deep puffs. I was a little clumsy and hit my head onto the shower head attached to the tub.
Soon, a liquid covered my right eye, I closed my eyes as I continued to take more and more puffs of the cigarette.
Soon I felt a little dizzy, maybe I bought stronger ones, I didn't feel a thing, tears fell continuously out of my eyes.
I wanted to run badly, but there wasn't gonna be a difference anymore, they would always find me, I felt myself getting dizzier.
" This stuff is good. " I laughed, draining out all of the noise that was coming in the background.
I didn't focus on anything now, the cigarette between my lips made me lose the ability to feel things.
I subconsciously knew I was going to get really really high off of this but it felt so damn good and I didn't wanna resist it.
So I let my desire take over, I took continuous and consistent puffs. I wanted to wipe off the tears from my eyes.
But I felt a sticky liquid, I opened my eyes to see dark, maroon blood coated around my finger that just touched my brow.
I laughed loudly before continuing to smoke like it wasn't a big deal. Maybe I should just get used to it, its probably gonna be my life.
Soon, the arguing stopped for a while, I was surprised but I didn't wanna walk out of here and my room.
Suddenly, I heard the door of my room creak, signalling someone had walked into my room.
" What is it, dad? Do you wanna hit me again? " I said loudly as I laughed. It was probably a routine. Maybe I should've run when I had the chance.
I couldn't hear anything else now. I just thought he probably left the room to go do whatever he wanted. But I was wrong, the door opened, revealing a namjoon covered in sweat.
" Y/n! Why are you hurt so badly? What's going on with Mr and Mrs Xia? " he said walking up to me and bending doen on his knees.
" Y/n say something. " he begged holding my chin as he examined my wound.
I sat there wordlessly, realizing he saw everything I was insecure of, everything I had hated to show people.
" What do you want me to say? " I broke the silence, taking another puff of the cigarette.
He took it from my hands and threw it on the bathroom tiles, crushing it quickly as his eyes turned red.
" Let's go y/n. Leave this place with me. Say that you'll come with me. " he looked into my eyes with tears coming out of his.
" I've lost the desire to run. " I replied knowing I shattered both our hearts with that sentence.
