Anhedonia - min yoongi.
Anhedonia: the loss of interest and enjoyment in all activities that you once liked; the feeling of not caring anymore
Min yoongi, the man of every girl's dreams, the perfect artist, the winner of the best artist award for the 6th time in a row was sitting in front of my desk.
It felt weird to see the perfect person that steals everyone's heart having a moment of weakness.
" Why are you here yoongi?" I broke the silence.
" Y/n-" he cleared his throat, and took a sip of water from the bottle I gave him.
" I- I, You know what forget it" he said and got up getting ready to leave. I followed him and held his arm back, I understood what was going on by seeing his expression, but I wanted to make sure.
" Yoongi can we collaborate on an art piece?" I asked him suddenly.
"W-what?" he looked visibly confused.
" Yoongi, I want you to teach me your style of painting" I told him smiling.
" B-but I-" he stuttered and let a breath out in frustration. I sighed and took his arm and slowly took him to my resting room and made him sit down. I took his hand and looked into his eyes.
" What's wrong hm?" I asked him, but I knew I would not get an answer that easily, I knew him, his pride would not allow him to say it.
" Y/n, I just, I need your help" he proved me wrong, he had actually asked me for help, I smiled and nodded.
" Tell me, what happened? How do you need my help?" I asked looking at him.
" Mmh, it's just, well I lost my inspiration" he admitted sighing and looking at his hands, slowly fiddling with his fingers.
" Lost inspiration? That's very weird, especially for you-" but I realized that my words only put more pressure on him, so I shrugged them off.
" It's okay yoongi, we can start again." I smiled at him.
I now knew why he was so hesitant to say it, his pride didn't allow him to admit defeat, the man didn't let himself off at all, his face was as fresh as a flower, but I could feel the tiredness of his soul. I patted his back in assurance.
" I'm sorry for bothering you like this" he apologized, I shook my head and patted his head.
" Yoongi you were my first love, you will never be a bother to me," I said hoping it would settle him but it made it more awkward since we broke up.
" So do you want to tell me in detail? If it's not too painful?" I asked him, I knew how it felt, losing inspiration, he had helped me get out of that, but seeing him fall deeper and harder into it made my heart break.
" Well, I want to paint, I do, but when I hold the paintbrush, it's like I don't want it anymore, I tried recreating a piece, but I ended up losing the motivation to do so, I don't want to do it anymore, that's the main issue probably" he explained. I nodded and took his hands, slowly leading him to the art room and sitting down on the table with a small book and a pencil.
" Would you like to start over?" I asked him, taking the pencil and spinning it with my fingers.
" B-but, I don't have any inspiration" he said while holding a pencil and fiddling with it.
" Well, what is it that you love about painting?" I asked him while turning towards him.
" I love it because I can show what I feel through them, I can show the world the way I see it." he replied. I always knew, he was born to be an artist, he's the best one I ever saw.
" Does that make you feel a little happy? Knowing you did it once?" I asked him, this felt like an interview, but I wanted to do my best and help him, even if it's just a little push.
" yeah, it feels good knowing that I did." he replied.
" mhm, let's work on that first then, How do you feel right now?" I asked him slowly getting up and taking some watercolour paint to start him off slowly.
" I feel anger, I feel disappointed in myself, I want to make myself better, I want to be inspired, and I'm afraid my passion will die at this rate, Im so scared and worried" he said, I couldn't help but hug him tightly and kiss the back of his head.
" If you had to tell that to a person through visuals, how would you depict it with colours?" I asked him. He looked at the paints and observed every single colour.
" I don't know-" he said pulling his hair in annoyance.
" It's okay, it's okay yoongi, let's try looking at one of your old pieces and look for references" he nodded at my suggestion. He opened his phone and fished through his paintings folder.
" I- I think I can start?" he took the small paintbrush and started with some dark blue and made light strokes. I was surprised to see him do well with just a oittle push but soon I didn't feel so, he is the only student of Mo Ting.
" Mhm, You're doing great, yes let's keep going" I gave a little side hug as a show of support. But soon he put the paintbrush down sighing.
" Y/n, I- I messed up" he said.
" Where? Show me?" I frowned, he pointed to a small spot making me frown again.
" Let me help you" I took his hand and guided his hand while looking at the sky trying to make strokes like that.
Soon we were done with the painting, it was not our best but it still looked decent.
He looked at me with a sad smile and just put his head down.
" Let's grow some at a time okay? I know you can do it, you're min yoongi, you got me out of this remember? You can do it. " I kissed the side of his forebead and smiled.
" Mmh, I really became clueless" he said smiling a little better.
" It's okay, y/n is here" I smiled as we talked and painted, just like the old times.
