Bet my Life (EDITING!!) #BOOK1

26. I don't wanna live forever

I hid in the back, not having the guts to face Mrs. Hinley. Izzie had accompanied me to the funeral, which I insisted on going to. I needed to say my final goodbye.

I remained incognito until the funeral was over. Once everyone was gone, I brushed my hands against the gravestone.

"Here lies Tyler Hinley,

Loving son, brother, and friend.

Gone too soon"

A sob escaped from my mouth, thinking about how unfair life was. He deserved to live a long, happy life. I still couldn't get myself to read the letter he had left for me.

"I was wondering when you would come out of hiding."

I whipped my head back at the sound of the familiar voice.

"Mrs. Hinley." I looked at the woman in front of me. She looked just as I remember. Her eyes held so much sadness in them, just like Tyler's. She gave me a small smile and pulled me into a hug.

"Zoey, my child," she whispered.

"Mrs. Hinley, I-" I put my head on her shoulder, unable to finish my sentence. How do I tell her how sorry I am? What do I tell a mother who just lost everything?

"I know, my child, I know. It's okay. He's in a better place now, where no one can hurt him. My baby is happy now. I know it," her soothing voice comforted me, as she stroked my hair.

"I'm so sorry. For putting him through that. It's my-"

"Zoey Hart. I will not have you take the blame for this. Not at all," she cut me off in a stern voice. Her eyes held so much determination and strength. Mr. Hinley had died when Ty was just 6. Since then, she had done everything to support the two of them.

"My dear. His relation with Damian was strained long before you came into the picture. He just didn't realize it. I raised a fine boy. He protected you, and that's how I raised him. My boy died a hero, and that makes me proud. Zoey, don't put this on yourself, Bambina. Live a happy life. Don't let this pull you down. He would want this for you. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself. He loved you, Zoey. My son, who everyone thought was incapable of love, laid his life for it. Don't be afraid to love. That is the best way to keep his memory alive."

A little girl came running to hug her. She looked so much like Tyler.

"That's Lea. I got remarried 2 years ago. Mark. Lea was born last year. She's our miracle," Mrs. H told me, giving Lea an adoring gaze. She was beautiful.

Picking her up, Mrs. Hinley gave me a side hug and kissed my forehead.

"Do visit us, once in a while. Ya?" She asked in a hopeful tone.

I nodded and smiled at her.

"Oh, and Zoey, I let it go today, but it's Maya or Mama to you. Okay?" She gave me a stern look, that quickly melted into a smile.

I chuckled and gave one last look at Ty.

"I'll be back, Ty. And I won't let you down." I whispered and walked to where Izzie had parked the car.

----------------------------------

"So, Zoey. Have you read the letter yet?" Dr. Thorpe asked.

My parents left 2 weeks after the funeral. Jay was adamant about me staying with him, but mom and dad agreed to let me return to my campus, on the condition that I regularly meet with my therapist. Dr. Thorpe recommended to us by my therapist back home, had insisted on meeting with me twice a week.

We were currently in our 6th session, with 45 minutes left on the clock.

"Umm. Not really," I answered honestly.

Twiddling my thumb, I glanced at the wall clock for the 20th time. 44 minutes to go. This is torture.

"And have you talked to Nathan yet?" She tossed me a pillow, noticing how restless my hands were.

"Nope. There's nothing to talk about," I turned my concentration to a butterfly outside the window.

Huh, that butterfly is really blue. You know who is scared of butterflies? Izzie. She freaks out at the sight of it. I snickered loudly, which got Dr. Thorpe's attention on me.

"What's on your mind, Zoey?"

"That blue butterfly. It's so...free. Izzie would be freaking out right now if she saw it. In her defense, she's not scared, she just can't handle it. Tomayto, tomahto." The butterfly is flying in circles now. Maybe I should name her Daisy.

"And would you say that you're free? After what happened with Damian?" She leaned in closer, keeping her notebook away.

"I..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Come on, Zoey. This will only work if you talk to me. I'm here to help," she said, in an attempt to get me to talk.

"Oh look, time's up," I practically sprinted out of the door.

Oli was supposed to pick me up. Where is he?

I stopped suddenly when I saw a guy standing near a tree. Oh no. What is he doing here?

Nathan was in a plain grey t-shirt and blue jeans and had a leather jacket on. I am reminded of exactly why I nicknamed him McSteamy. He was casually leaning against a tree with shades on. Is it hot in here? I think the temperature just went up by a lot.

Okay, so between looking like a train-wreck, and feeling like one, I really not in the mood to top off my day with a conversation with my ex. I have a plan. Bailey and I have undertaken ninja training. So now is the best time to use those skills and get out of here unnoticed. Here's the plan.

I'm going to run behind that tree, and then cover myself with my bag so that I will have a disguise. Then I will run to the other tree. Then I will create a distraction by throwing a -

"Earth to Zoe?"

My head snapped to the speaker so hard that I think I gave myself whiplash. Nathan was standing in front of me with an amused look.

"So, what exactly were you doing?" He asked me slowly like he was talking to a child or an idiot. I'm going to go with child.

"Thinking of putting my ninja skill to use," I mumbled.

"Oh ya? To do what, exactly?" He smirked.

That little bitch has the nerve to laugh at me.

"Sooooo, what are you doing here?" I asked him, desperately trying to change the topic.

"Well, Oli told me that he was supposed to pick you up. But something else came up, so here I am."

"You got stuck, huh?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood, feeling slightly guilty.

"Let's just say I offered," he laughed, placing his hand on the small of my back as he ushered me to the parking lot.

This was odd. Our last two conversations ended in tears. So why does he suddenly see to be in such a good mood? I wanted to ask him, but I bit my tongue and decided against it.

He stopped in front of a bike. No way.

"What happened to your car?" I asked nervously.

"It's at the mechanics. Hence the bike."

He passed me a helmet, which I took with my shaky hands. My hesitation must have been evident, because he took my face in his hands, and held my gaze.

"I won't let anything happen to you. Trust me?" He asked.

I nodded wordlessly. He took the helmet from my hands and put it on me. He brought his lips near my ear and whispered.

"Ready for the best ride of your life?"

You bet your perfect behind, I am.