I didn't think you cared

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Thank you to The_Dance_Dragon for the idea

TW: mentions of eating disorders and suicidal thoughts. Please do not read if this triggers you. Stay safe xx

Modern AU

"Merlin let me in!" Arthur pleaded, fiddling with the bathroom door trying desperately to get it open. Merlin leaned his head back against the door crying silent tears. His hoodie hug of his frail body, making him sweat profusely.

"Please Merlin." Arthur was in tears, terrified for his friend. His sobs blurred his vision, causing his hand to slip from the handle sending him plummeting to the floor. The pain blooming in his knees was nothing compared to the pure fear of what was happening behind the door. This has happened before. Images that are too fresh in his mind play like a horror movie. Only this movie cannot be skipped. You can't pause it. It's real and it is terrifying.

Merlin huddled into himself, blocking out the sobs from his friend. His love. His world. He couldn't take them anymore, knowing that he was the root for all Arthur's concerns. He would be better of without him.

That's when his eyes flicked to the razor. Arthur didn't hide it like he usually does. It was left out on the side, begging for use. One cut and all his pain will disappear, reduced to atoms six feet under. 

"I'm sorry." Merlin whispered, hand gripped tightly around the razor as he struggled to remove the blade. He sliced his finger in the process, drawing a frustrated yell from the back of his throat.

"Merlin!" 

"Stop it!" Merlin clutched his hands to his ears, spreading the blood from his finger across his cheek in the process. His knees gave way and he was on the floor in a heap, sobbing.

Arthur forced his body weight against the door and finally the lock caved. He stumbled into the room, almost tripping over the crying boy.

"Merlin your okay. You're okay I got you." Arthur said calmly through his tears. Merlin fell back into Arthur's arms, allowing his boyfriend to pry the bloodied blade from his bony fingers. A shaky breath left his lips, blowing away the dark thoughts festering in his mind. 

For now they were okay. For now he was safe. Arthur cares and that's all that matters to him. 

It is really hard writing things like this so I didn't want to make it too long. If your are relating to any of this please talk to someone you trust, no one deserves it no matter what you tell yourself. You are loved and the future holds wonderful things for you.

Until next time

-Author xx

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