When Bad Girls Fall In Love

Chapter 15 -- Rationalizing

"My Dad had a mistress."

He paused taking his time to recall those events at the back of his head and I just watch how his eyes looked up to the ceiling as if every line he could find up there could ease him somehow

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it" But the truth is, I'm not even sure if I wanted to hear the other side of the havoc I've caused. My heart screams for me not to listen but my general curiosity itches at the back of my head.

I knew this day would come but I seem to be never prepared to face it no matter how much I forced my self to

"It's fine. I think it's only fair this way." He beamed me up a smile that didn't reach his eyes. It was one bitter smile I couldn't even swallow up the taste. His eyes were sad and I began to fidget on my own hands—Nervous on what I might hear from him

"My Mom was my Dad's college sweetheart, Both already laid their plans out to attend law school right after grad." He gave me a lopsided grin before he continued "Everything went smoothly until He knocked her up when they were about to graduate, Both of them being 19 at that time—So it was a shut gun wedding"

I saw how frustrated he was as he drew a harsh breath. His fingers graze his hands

"Sometimes, I blame my self for screwing up their lives that way. I always think if I didn't come along, maybe they wouldn't be trapped in their own hell hole called marriage"

"Don't say that, Pat .. You'll never know"

He shook his head "I grew up with parents who had constant fight, Meg. I don't know how they do it. The next day, They would pretend that everything's alright when in fact it has been broken years ago. It's sickening"

"And you know what's more sickening? Is the fact my Dad had an affair three years ago, yet my Mom still stick with him for the heck of publicity—For the God damn politics and saving his sorry ass for the election."

He let out a sour laughter, one that could say a really sad one. I wanted to hug him for that but I couldn't. I was guilty at that and I didn't know how I would say it to him

"I always looked up to him, my Dad, with so much respect but what he did was so low. He should be damn to hell with his mistress"

"He should be damn to hell with his mistress"

"He should be damn to hell with his mistress"

"He should be damn to hell with his mistress"

".. damn to hell with his mistress"

"... Hell.. "

" ... Mistress"

"Im sorry!"