The Wondering Mind

my book

         Id like to write a book, a story people fall in love with, something people will tell their friends about full of enjoyment for what they've read. I want to write something that will make those who do not enjoy reading start to like it. I want to write a book that makes people want to read it, that tunes into their emotions, gets them wanting more. Id like to bring out the emotions of those who read the book. Id like to write something worth reading. I want write a book with characters that people fall absolutely in love with like I have so many times in books I've read. I want them to feel like I do when I read a book I love. I want to be a good writer. I want to show my enjoyment for writing through the pages of the books I write through the words turned sentences turned paragraphs. I want readers to fall in love with the books I write through the words I enjoyed writing. I want people to hang on their seats in anticipation for the next book to be released as I have so many times. I want them to enjoy and experience reading as I have. I want them to get so lost in their own little world that they create using detailed descriptions from these books that they lose track of time, reality and tune out the too often harsh world around them. Id like for people to be able to escape into a different world as I do from the real world. Id like to do all these things but I have no idea how. I do not know how or wear to start, I have clue what to write about. I want to start but all I can for the moment is type down what I want to do and know that I have no confidence to do it. I do not have confidence in my writing. I do not think I could write a successful book that achieves all the goals and plan I have set for them. I do not think that even if I completed a book it would do well. I do not think the character development would be what I wanted it to be. I am afraid that I am not capable of doing this and that if I tried it would turn out to be a waste of time. I'm afraid that if I started id lose interest and never finish. I am afraid people would think I'm just living a fantasy trying to convince myself this won't be a waste of my very limited amount of time. Im afraid that I am wrong and that this will all somehow all go according to plan, that all that id like to do I will do and more. Because if I am then what? Where do I go from there? How do I continue? How did I get there and could I do it again? How hard is it to publish a book? What happens if I write a book up to my expectations and it fails? What if I go through all of this, all this work and somehow it fails and all of it still turnabout to be a waste of time? What if it's published and no one likes it? Am I thinking too much into it? Am I thinking too far ahead? Am I worrying about things I probably shouldn't? Yes more than likely. I wonder should I even try to write a book...?

Probably not...

I wrote this awhile back and decided to put it on here but I was to lazy to reread it so I apologize if its crappier than everything else I've written!!! 🤣