I'll Be Fine (All Time Low Fanfic)

Chapter 26

June 2005

“You’re moving to England?” I asked in disbelief. He nodded. “So that’s why you broke up with me?” I whispered.
“Izzy, give me a good reason why I’d lie about this? You know I love you. I guess I didn’t show it that much did I?” he sighed and sat down on my bed. I sat down next to him and he pulled me into his arms and kissed my hair. “I was an asshole when you left. I missed you like crazy – I was going crazy I didn’t get to say goodbye or even see you once more. I was scared I’d never get to hold you again or kiss you again.” He smiled gently and kissed my lips. “Honestly, I was kind of depressed. My mom started to get worried, as mother’s do when your kid mopes around angry and depressed and with you gone I guess she thought that being in Baltimore was a bad idea. Then you know I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you so I tried to let you go slowly because I couldn’t bring myself to that because I love you. And you can probably get the rest.” He shrugged. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
“So because of me, you have to leave Baltimore and move to the fucking UK!?” I freaked out. Of course everything was my fault yet again. Everything I did seemed to be my fault. I was like a bad luck charm. His hands brushed along my cheeks as he hushed me.
“No! No Isabel don’t cry! That’s not how I meant it like that, you’re taking this the wrong way!” he soothed me stroking my hair and kissing away tears that fell from my eyes.
“But now that I’m back, can’t things change?” I sobbed. I was desperate at this point. I looked up into his dark brown eyes. Small tears sat on his lashes but he tried to blink them away.
“Maybe if things happened earlier. Maybe if you know things worked out differently and I didn’t make stupid decisions to start something with Lisa. Isabel we’re leaving at 7 o clock tomorrow to look at houses. I don’t think anything can be done now.” He rocked me gently in his arms making me cry even more. What even was my life at this point? If things weren’t being ruined for me, I was ruining other people’s lives.
“I’m so fucking sorry Alex” I cried once more.
“It’s not your fault baby. Stop blaming yourself. What’s done is done and we may as well just enjoy our friendship while we can. I love you.” He whispered crushing his lips against mine for a few minutes I let him.
“I love you too.” I broke away and walked back downstairs.

I sauntered across the road when more guests started to arrive. I’d stayed for a while to talk to Jenna and Rex - I felt bad for giving them short notice about moving away, luckily they forgave me and were happy for me, but as soon as people from school and old friends arrived I scurried like a rat being chased with a butcher’s knife. As I opened the door, music flowed out. It wasn’t like the loud punk rock music I usually enjoyed that was blaring from the Barakat residence. I listened closely to the music. I recognised the sweet melody: Edelweiss. I followed the music leading me to the sitting room. Rebecca sat at the piano letting her fingers glide over the keys. The song brought back so many memories. I remembered being little and sitting at that piano for hours every day with Marie, just listening to her play because I was too useless to do it myself. After a while of failing at the piano Marie realized that the piano wasn’t my instrument so she tried me with a guitar – I fell in love. It was the first song I was taught on guitar and what Rebecca on piano. Sometimes when she didn’t sleep you’d hear her play it in the middle of the night. Rebecca continued to play as I sat next to her on the piano stool, not even flinching as I sat down. I sang the lyrics softly under my breath making her smile over at me. I heard Dan enter the room and laugh softly.
“Cheesy much?” he laughed. He walked over and wrapped one arm around me and kissed my hair before shuffling backwards to sit on the sofa. I swivelled around on the piano chair to face him. Simba scurried into the room and jumped up onto my lap. He put his two paws on my shoulder and licked my face.
“Ew!” I screeched trying to hold the dog away from my face. The room erupted with laughter. It made me smile just being here. As much as I loved living in the Barakat’s I wished nothing had changed. I wished that Cancer didn’t exist – but then who wanted it to? If Marie hadn’t gotten cancer then I wouldn’t have had to move out and I’d still be here happy with my whole family. Jack would still be my best friend living across the road. Alex would still be my boyfriend. Heather would still live just down the road. I’d still have my mother.
“Where’s dad?” I asked suddenly realizing my mistake of calling Patrick “dad”. He wasn’t my dad anymore. I felt weird calling Bassam my dad though. Joyce too. They really did treat me as their own but then again I’d spent a lot of my childhood here.
“He’s taking a nap upstairs.” Dan replied flatly. I felt Rebecca’s shoulders rise and fall next to me as she heavily sighed.
“No improvement?” I asked. Both of them shook their heads.
“So Iz, what brings you to your old home tonight?” Dan asked.
“Well it’s Jack’s birthday and he’s having a big party and I just wasn’t in the mood.” I shrugged.
“Aren’t the Gaskarth’s going tomorrow?” Rebecca wondered. I nodded. “How is that?” she asked pulling me closer to her and squeezed my shoulder for comfort.
“It’s fine. We’re friends – that’s it.” I lied. I felt tears well in my eyes as I thought of him again.

The music was faint now as I approached my house. New Found Glory played down quietly and I could hear chatting outside the front door. I opened it to see about nine or ten people scattered around the sitting around the sitting room.
“Hey it’s Isabel!” Jack cheered followed by a chorus of cheers and greetings. There was a smell of sweat and booze. “You’re just in time baby, everyone’s after leaving – it’s just your close friends now!” I smiled back at Jack. I was hoping that it would only be him and Heather, maybe even Alex too but no. The entire group was here. Alex tried to catch my eye for attention but I looked over at Jack. Alex looked like he wanted to warn me about something or maybe he just wanted to finish what we’d talked about earlier. I sat down next to Jack, Heather was at his other side. Zack and Rian and Alex were huddled in the corner talking but now Alex had broken away and was still trying to catch my attention. Lisa, Rex and Jenna all sat on the floor in the centre of the room facing everyone.
“Hey, you know what, our pizza never came!” Rex thought out loud. Chimes of realization came from all over the room.
“Maybe we should go get it.” Rian said.
“I think maybe I should go get it, I’m the most sober.” I volunteered.
“No! It’s dark!” Alex cut in.
“Alex, I’m seventeen in a few days. I’m fine. I was getting lessons off my foster dad, Jim.  I can do this.” I argued. He looked taken aback by my sternness.
“I’m coming with you then.” He stated. I rolled my eyes at him
“I’ll come too!” Lisa chimed in making me cuss under my breath. I took the keys of Alex’s car and the three of us filed out.
“Shotgun!” Lisa giggled obviously tipsy from the drink she’d had.
“Whaaaaat?” Alex groaned climbing into the back seat. I groaned quietly to myself. After a few minutes of being on the road snoring came from the backseat. Lisa looked back and laughed to herself.
“He’s cute when he sleeps, huh?” she said. I smiled and nodded agreeing with her. I remembered seeing his sleeping head next to mine and remembered how adorable he looked not even needing to look back. “Isabel?”
“Yeah?” there was something in her voice that made me look over at her.
“I know what happened.” She stated trying to keep hold of my eyes. I looked back at the road nervously.
“What do you mean?” I tried to be confident but I knew my voice was shaky.
“I saw you and Alex in your bedroom. He started to kiss you and you didn’t stop him.” She said. She used the same sickly sweet voice with the malicious under tone to it. I gulped slightly spotting the pizza place ahead and sped up the car. I suddenly noticed her hand on the wheel.
“Lisa what are-” I began.
“Whore.” She muttered and with a push of her hand, I screamed.

*Again the Lisa - I'm so sorry!*