I'll Be Fine (All Time Low Fanfic)

Chapter 34

June 2006

I sat cross legged on my bed flicking through pictures of prom and graduation when there was a knock on the door.

"There you are!" Alex exclaimed "How's my beautiful girlfriend?" he teased closing my bedroom room.

"I'm not your girlfriend Alex." I muttered as he joined me on my bed, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Yet." he grinned. I rolled my eyes as he kissed my cheek. "Still haven't broken it off with Matt, eh?" he questioned. I looked down at a picture of Matt and I that I was holding in my hand. I shook my head. 

"Alex, honestly I don't know how! What am I supposed to say 'Um well now that Alex isn't moving and I'm living back in Baltimore and things are pretty good between us, I'm dumping you and going back to him. Thanks for understanding.' and then just walk away?" I complained.

"Well, that's all true isn't it?" he said softly, kissing my neck.

"Yeah but it's not a nice way to break up with somebody!" I argued. He shifted and sat up, pulling me into his lap.

"Iz, are break ups ever nice?" he raised his eyebrows.

"I know, I know." I took a deep breath and sighed, I didn't like this.

We'd spent the whole day cuddled in my bed watching all the Batman movies. It was so nice to have his arms wrapped around me again. Things had come full circle and I was happy again to lie in his arms and feel safe.

"Woah, it's late. Shit I'd better be getting home." it was almost mid night after we'd watched them all.

"Hey, you don't have to leave. We don't have school tomorrow. Or ever again may I add to that." I grinned.

"I know we're high school graduates, can you believe it?" he teased, mocking my tone.

"Seriously though, it looks like Jack's crashing here tonight." I gestured to my best friend who had joined us halway through and insisted on staying till the end but still managed to fall asleep an hour after he came in. "And Joyce wouldn't mind. Just an idea instead of going home alonein the dark." I shrugged.

 "Well that certainly doesn't sound too bad to me. I'll text my mom and tell her I'm staying here." he picked up his phone and clicked awayat the buttons. I tiptoed, trying not to wake Jack snoring softly on my sofa, over to my chest of drawers and grabbed one of Alex's  old shirts I always slept in. I had about four or five that I alternated, even when we weren't together. I shimmied out of my jeans and pulled the oversized shirt on. It hit my mid thigh so fading scars could still be seen.

"You mind?" Alex said pulling off his shirt. I shook my head as he flung it on the floor along with his jeans. He grinned and reached his arms out, like a baby who wanted to be picked up by their mother. I hesitentily climbed into my bed, aware of how wrong this was because I was still with Matt, but my heart took over and knew this is all I wanted. He pulled me as close as he could to his chest and kissed down my neck.

"Hey, no tricks Gaskarth. This is as intimate as it will get, there is no way I am going any further when I'm technically still in a relationship and with Jack in the room." I warned. 

"I know, I know." he whispered into my ear "I just really missed you in my arms. I missed you full stop." he brushed his lips behind my ear.

"I missed you too." I whispered back. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. His warm hand was on the small of my back and the other one played with my hair.

"Isabel?" he whispered.

"Mhmmm?"

"I can't wait until you are all mine again." Even though I couldn't see him, I heard the smile in his voice. 

"Soon baby. Soon." I promised. 

The next day I'd arranged to meet up with Matt and Heather with Jack to see a film.

"Izzyyyyyy!" Heather squealed bounding towards me. She lept into my arms. I hadn't seen her since school had ended because she'd gone to visit some relatives in L.A. for two weeks. It was an understatement to say I missed her. I squeezed my best friend in my arms.

"I missed you!" I cooed.

"I missed you more gorgeous!" she said dropping from my arms and kissing my cheek. "Thought you'd never show!"

"Sorry, I was waiting for Jack but he got held up by Joyce for some reason so I left without him." I shrugged.

"Speak of the devil." Heather said before reenacting my welcome for Jack. Before I could turn around to see him, their lips were already connected. I walked over to join them.

"Hey Jacky, why didn't you come with me?" I pouted.

"The college talk again." he rolled his eyes and laughed. "Sorry!"

"So we're just waiting for Matt?" Heather cut in. 

"Wait no longer!" Matt walked towards us "Sorry traffic. Hey beautiful!" he smiled kissing my cheek.

"Woooh! Everyone ready?" Jack asked.

"Um no, Jack we'll follow you in. I need to talk to Matt alone for a minute." I bit my lip.

"Okay, no problem. See you in there." he said before mouthing 'Good luck'. Now I was nervous.

"What's up baby?" Matt said as the couple disappeared into the theatre. 

"Matty, can we sit on that bench? I need to talk to you." he nodded and agreed with me as we made our way over to the bench. I looked down at our joint hands for a few minutes.

"Iz?" he said bringing me back to the present.

"Sorry!" I apologised. He laughed. 

"Always dreaming." he smiled. After another few moments of silence, Matt spoke again. "Iz, it's okay. I know you want to break up with me." my head shot up in confusion. He laughed softly. "Isabel, it' always been clear to me you've always had feelings for Alex. I knew they never went away. Part of me hoped that when Alex left, so would those feelings and everything would be okay. Just my luck, he stays and so do those feelings. I knew if this happened, I would have to give you up. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. Even if it means losing an awesome girlfriend." he smiled weakly.

"That was possibly the easiest break up in history." I whispered in shock making him laugh. "Are you seriously okay with all this? I mean it's hardly fair on you!" I said.

"No, I knew the day would come. As much as I love you, I'd prefer you were happy and we stayed friends." he shrugged. I couldn't help but let a small "awww" escape me.

"Matt you are purely the cutest guy ever and deserve someone so much better than me. I'm so, so sorry." I said wiping small tears from the corners of my eyes. Friends?" I choked out.

"Oh we better still be friends, otherwise there'd be trouble." we both giggled.

"Thank you Matt, I really love you." I said hugging him.

"I love you too Izzy. Good luck with Alex. I think you two'll go pretty far."