Loved in Shades (A Jaylor Fanfiction)

Onyx

I don't know what to say since the twist of fate                               'cause we're going down
Two months later; July 29th 2020
*Flashback*
Taylor Swift's Point of View
So, I've been gone. I haven't been home in a few weeks..is it even home anymore? It seems like an empty apartment of hatred and pain. Wow I'm dark. Since how long have a been thinking like this? Time passes and my thoughts don't change much. He'll be excited to see me, right? He won't be mad. I've haven't been back to Joe and I's place in 2 months. But I've been happier lately, maybe it's because I haven't been with Joe. God maybe he will be pissed.
I take a deep breath and put my keys in the door and unlock it. I take slow and steady steps. I try to silence my movement like I'm in a horror movie. I don't know why exactly as he'll find me eventually. I take off my shoes which causes a bang and this startling noise makes Joe come downstairs.

"Taylor?" Joe says softly.

"Hey..." My words are accompanied by fear but he comes up and hugs me tightly. Once I notice he isn't angry I let my guard down.

"Where have you been?" He asks once he lets go of me.

"Rhode Island. I've been there with my mom."

"Thanks for letting me know two months later." He tells me this with a passive aggressive tone.

"I know I should have texted you or called you more..."

"More? You said nothing! You left and I called and I left so many messages. For all I knew, you could've been dead!"

"I left you a message..."

"Yeah, do you remember what it said? I'll refresh you memory...'I'm safe, stop calling me.' That is all I got."

"You didn't stop calling so I got a new freaking phone!"

"Cause I thought you were fucking dead!"

"Okay, damn. I'm sorry." Maybe I couldn't have accompanied that with passive aggressiveness.

"You sound like it." Joe says this with sarcasm, he knows I'm not sorry for what I did.

"Maybe I wouldn't have left if you weren't a prick!"  

"Oh my god. All I wanted was to have kids again and you took off. Sure, we had a fight. I was expecting you to blow of steam and come back in a couple days. You were gone for over 2 months!"

"Cause you were trying to force me to do something I didn't want to!"

"I didn't force you!"

"You didn't respect my choice and don't you dare say otherwise!"

"It's been over six months since it happened now."

"It still hurts like hell!"

"Okay, didn't you say 'time can heal most anything.' You're not even obeying your own lyrics."

"Time can heal most. There's some things time can't fix!"

"God, forget it. Just go back if you want to be like this."

"I'm your wife! Better or for worse! Is that just thrown off the table? You can barely look at me, touch me, or have sex with me. I'm not a delicate vase that can break any second with a small touch."

"I'm sorry I worry about you. Do you need more space?"

"I don't need space! I want to be me!"

"Of course I want to have sex with my wife..."

"I'm right here! I am your wife!" There's a weirdly long pause after I say that. He walks close to me slowly and puts his hand on my cheek before kissing me. I drop my coat I was carrying on the floor and kiss him more. This is the most alive I've felt in a while weirdly.

"Are you okay with this?" Joe asks.

I smile softly and look into his eyes. "It's okay." This response makes him pull off my shirt and toss it to the side. I do the same and take his shirt off. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist while my arms are around his neck. He walks into our bedroom places me on the bed.
The things that happen in the room aren't exactly PG...or PG-13 even. Rated R movies are the most entertaining apparently. Is there a rating above R? If there is, maybe this is that. Oh god I'm probably giving too many details but I ramble a lot.

He kisses me on the lips one last time before rolling over to the his side of the bed. I push back my hair as a breathe heavily. At that moment both of us realize what we did. I mean, it was a spontaneous moment and we were both horny I guess.
Joe takes one of his shirts and puts it on along with boxers and sweatpants. I then put on a oversized white t-shirt and sit on the end of the bed.

"You can stay." I quietly say this to not disturb the situation. Joe looks at me and smiles slightly before leaving the room and closing the door. I put my hands on my forehead and fall back onto the bed. God what did we do? We were fighting but then we had sex? I think we just made the situation worse...but it was good. I don't know if I regret what we did.
I finish getting dressed and go into the living room where Joe is drinking water while watching tv. I sit down as well but I sit a few feet away. I can't remember the last time we cuddled on the couch together. I love our time on the couch. We would get some junk food and watch some chick-flick. I know he hates them but he didn't care because he loved me. Loved. What a funny word. I don't even know if he loves me anymore.

He scrolls through the channels and picks the movie Rocketman. He's always had a thing for Elton John. It makes him a little jealous that I've met him. Is Elton John dead? Wait, no...he's just hella old. My guess is he's already watched this movie but he picked it because he thought the both of us would like it. It's a drama musical type of thing. I hope one day someone produces a movie musical about me...it probably wouldn't get as good of ratings speaking about my problematic life and how half the world hates me. I realize I'm not paying attention and focus on the TV.

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losin' everything is like the sun goin' down on me

Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me...I suddenly relate to this song...I feel close to it. Also the main movie character aka Elton John was sad as fuck when he was singing it. Maybe Elton John and I aren't too far apart besides all the drugs, excessive addictions...and being gay.
The entire movie, we're just silent. No emotions, no laughing or crying. Just, staring at a tv. We could be sitting here without the TV on and it would be exactly the same. What happened to us? How did we get to this?

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Author's Note
I updated again and this time it didn't take me 2 months lol.

Anyone else love Elton John? I love him so much and I love Rocketman 🥰

I have been listening to Folklore and imagine an Elton John-Taylor Swift collab. It would be art 😫

I already finished the next chapter because I have nothing better to do.

Just so you know, IT'S SO CUTE AND FUNNY HEHE

Anyways, have a good day! Love you all :)