Loved in Shades (A Jaylor Fanfiction)

Emerald

I want you, bless my soul
2 weeks later in present time 
Taylor's POV
I thought it was for the best I would get an ultrasound today. Just so I could see the baby you know, before it dies probably. I turn on my turn signal as I start to take a left. My index finger taps on the steering wheel as I'm turning. I try to keep my mind focused in the road and only the road. Nothing else.
I slowly park my car in the hospital parking lot but I don't get out. I put my head and arms on the steering wheel. I don't cry. I just sit there. I know what I need to do. I don't want this again, again and again I knew I won't accept this and I know I'm going to stall as long as I can.
The feeling that rages through my soul that there's nothing and the lost hope that kills me. I end up being late for my appointment. It takes me 20 minutes to get myself up the steering wheel and I didn't care if I was late because I knew consequences of going...but I also knew the consequences of not. 20 minutes, 20 fast paced minutes until I end up in the waiting room.
Every second I'm spending in the waiting room feels like I'm being gnawed at the heart. My leg shakes at the speed of The Flash and I'm chewing my fingers raw.

"Taylor?" I hear my name called so I stand up and go to the nurse.

"Hello." I say to the nurse while looking down.

"My name is Ellie. We are going to go get weight and height." She tells me.

I can tell she recognizes. She's giving me that stare, where she just knows who I am but she's treating me as a normal person which is really something I need today.

Height: 5'10
Weight: 121lbs. Underweight, emaciated, burned out.

I eventually get to a point where I'm waiting for Doctor Holbrook and I'm just sitting with my thoughts all over again. I get to think about all the things that could go wrong all over again and all the faults that are bound to come.
The door opens and Doctor Holbrook comes in. "It's nice to see you again, Taylor." She says with a smile.

"Same to you." I say shyly. This was a small lie. She's a good person, but association has now taken place.

"Pregnant again I see. I don't know how you keep managing to get pregnant." She giggles slightly.

"Me either." An eye roll comes along with this.

"Well, I think you know the drill."

I nod and lay down. As I lay down I feel like I'm falling into a dark despair and a chill I coming over me. I watch her set up everything and it feels like I'm inching closer to pain.

"Where's Joe?" Callie asks. I've just recently learned her first name. It's Callie, more specifically, Calliope. You would have think I would have known it but some things don't occur to me until they affect my life dramatically.

"Long story." I tell her. I don't think your OB/GYN is the person to rant about your relationship issues. I also think relationship issues is also an understatement. More like relationship explosion, crumble, and then slow painful death and watching your soul wither from your own eyes. Maybe I should go to therapy...

"Well, just relax. You might feel a little cold but it's just the gel."

"Yeah I know. Fourth time here."

Callie giggles slightly and then it all begins, the moment that reveals everything. I see the black and grey image appear on the screen.

"There you go." Callie smiles.

This time a sound comes along with it. Something fast paced and loud. It concerns me as I don't know what it means. It's fast, does it mean they're dying? Am I loosing another piece of my life?

"What, what is that? What's that sound? That's never been there? Why-why is it-" I begin to panic.

Callie giggles slightly. "Sweetie, calm down."

"No, I can't calm down, that's my baby and they are dying!" I scream.

"No, no, that's the heartbeat." She says with a grin.

"Heartbeat?"

"Yeah, the heartbeat. That's the heartbeat. Your baby is fine, that's the heartbeat." Callie rattles quickly.

"There's a heartbeat?" I say.

She points to the black and white screen. "There's you baby. And you see these sound waves at the bottom? That's the heartbeat."

I begin breaking into tears."There's a heartbeat?" My voice is completely breaking as I say this.

"Yeah. There's a heartbeat." She nods.

"There's a heartbeat." At this point I'm probably ugly sobbing and I cover my mouth.

"It's okay, it's okay, breathe."

"There's a heartbeat." I repeat once again. More tears are running down my face and I can't stop them. It's like trying to avoid death. It's inevitable, unstoppable, bound to happen. I haven't cried like this in a long time. I cried for almost the very same reason. The pages turn back to that time. A crumbled piece of paper that is torn in parts and stained. A page I wish didn't exist.
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Oh jeez I haven't updated in a long time but here I am! I've been really inspired to write lately and I'm improving my skills! Also this chapter made me cry. On another note, Lover is AMAZING! I'm loving I Think He Knows right now!

Also, if you like Snowbarry, I'm releasing a Snowbarry fanfic in 3 days called Russian Roulette. I worked really hard on it and I hope everyone who reads will enjoy!