insomnia hotline⠀ choi yeonjun

20

chapter twenty.
night keeper.

soobin's pov

i bit my lip as i carefully typed out the numbers from the piece of paper beomgyu gave me the other day. "what if it's a scam?" i asked myself, checkingㅡ then double checking if i put the right order and numbers on my phone.

i was about to press the call button absent-mindedly but i hesitated again, and bit on my lip again. this is it, it's going to bleed again if i keep doing this so i guess i'll have to call to keep my mouth busy.

riiiing~

my heart beat faster than usual as i listened to my phone dialing the number. damn, what if it's just a scam? but beomgyu's not the type to do that, right? i mean.. he's a good guy. even though we hadn't really talked that much as classmates last year.

come to think of it, it was really weak of me to accept his offer that day. but whatever, who fucking cares? it doesn't fucking matter anymore since i lost all my friends. and now i'm going to befriend this angel of a boy.

"hello, you've reached insomnia hotline," this is definitely beomgyu's voice. so feminine and fragile but a little manly, i guess? bruh i'm not gay thoughㅡ "beomgyu? this is soobin" i asked, and introduced.

"actually, night keeper." he introduced himself as an answer, "but yeah, beomgyu. but please call me night keeper when in insomnia hotline," he chuckled. that his code name or something? do i need to make up a code name as well?

"aaand what do you want me to save your contact name as?" he asked, and i started thinking about a cool name. bruh, do i go with midnight man or something? (lmao) alrightㅡ "i don't know. you do the thinking," i replied, pursing my lips, hoping i didn't sound a little harsh on that.

"then we'll go with soobin. give me a moment," he replied, leaving me speechless. wowㅡ okay then. it went silent for about a few seconds and i looked really dumb staring at the wall in front of me. this is how i am now, huh? calling insomnia hotline?

"hi again!" beomgyu suddenly spoke out loud, making me pull the phone away from my ear. loud-ass bitch! are there no people sleeping in his home?! i pulled it back in, clicking on my tongue, "-ctually called!" was all i managed to hear when i had it near my ear again.

"yeah," i replied. i heard beomgyu giggle in joy and i cringed. is he gay? nah, i ignored it and instead went on to say something else to get out of that situation, "i thought this thing wasn't real," i said. beomgyu chuckled again.

"still not real. but soon, maybe?" he answered, unsure. "who's your boss, anyway? y'all get any income working in this shit?" i asked again. fiddling on my comforter as i change my lying position. beomgyu hummed on the other line like he was thinking about it.

"well, that's a secret. the boss doesn't like spreading info," he replied. i just gulped on my saliva and didn't say anything in return to his shitty response. should i end this call? is this just what they do? keep company some crazy-ass insomniac?

beomgyu's keeping himself silent as well as i was. i just looked at the digital clock beside my bed and sighed. it's 12:06 am, what does he even gain with talking to me? ohㅡ i should probably ask that, right?

"soㅡ"

"do you know the reason that's keeping you up at night?" he asked at the same time, and i cut off my words as i heard him because i'm a fucking gentleman. i looked up at the ceiling and thought about it.

the reason..

"we should be honest.."

that's keeping me up

"let's just break up."

at night?

"can you fucking stop looking at yunhee?"

tears started to fill my eyes, and a lump formed in my throat. i can't speak, it's hard to reply to beomgyu because my heart is holding my words back to my chest. am i even allowed to tell beomgyu this? i don't even trust him that he won't tell this to yunhee, and plus they take lunch together like they're suddenly besties.

i thought that yunhee would be uncomfortable and soon go away from them but they actually got along and looked genuinely happy.

i took a deep breath through my nose. so this is insomnia hotline, like some therapy session at night to cure your sleeping?

"don't know?" beomgyu asked, and i got more nervous, my hand holding the phone obviously shaking. i know. i fucking know! but i just can't tell you..

"i don't know, beomgyu." i answered.

"night keeper. for the second time." he chuckled. "should i tell you why?" he asked me, and i wiped the tears i had earlier from thinking of the answer.

should he tell me what? did yunheeㅡ bruh. obviously yunhee told him. or them. what do i expect? i lashed out on her that day on the cafeteria, of course everyone's gossiping about what's going on between the two of us already. and i'm obviously the villain, because yunhee's knight in shining armor wasㅡ

"everything that's yunhee related is my business."

ㅡhim, choi yeonjun.

his glaring face is still stuck inside my head. i'm supposed to be the one that protects yunhee but i failed to be that person because of my overestimating head. if i knew that she was more important than my status, would things be better now?

"don't say anything," i told beomgyu. or night keeper as his code name is. i stared at the ceiling and sighed, "of course i know why." i chuckled to myself, bitterly.

the only person i told my worries to was go yunhee. and now that she's gone, who's going to fucking listen?

i guess it's just destined to be this way, that when something leaves, something also comes.

and now, i won't even deny to myself that someone is here to listen, that beomgyu is here to listen. because i'll tell him everything. i'll fucking tell him everything that we'll be talking until we reach school tomorrow morning.

"then what?" he asked.

if you need help, reach out to family, friends, mental health professionals, or a local helpline.