Abused & Unloved.

**Special Chapter

Jesse&Ryan's First New Year. 

Not Edited. 

        

        It was cold. The night sky was covered with gray clouds, the soft breeze chilling my bones as I shivered, covering myself tightly with the heavily oversized jacket. My hands were tucked deep into the pockets of the oversized jacket, and my hair covered with a beanie. The weather cast had mention it was suppose to snow tonight and advised the town to stay indoor for warmth. Yet, here I was sitting in the middle of town on a bench that overlooks the town park, waiting for him.

Him.

He was tall and had dark brown hair that fell over his colored eyes, a define set of cheeks bones that made him look rough but yet when he smiled, he looked young. Overall, he had tattoos, tattoos that screamed trouble.

Normally, I would never involve myself with someone like him, but for once in my life I didn't judge a book by its cover. I was 29 going on 30 and I had wanted to go out with friends to celebrate my upcoming birthday. We set off and went to a club that had just open downtown. It was nothing to fancy, only myself and few of my friends and coworkers joined me. The club was packed with people, loud music blasting through the speakers as people danced and grind among others. I wasn't much of a dancer so I went straight to the bar to order myself a drink.

"What would it be for you, sugar?" The red headed bartender asked, her brown eyes looking me and down as she smirked.

Ignoring her looks, I answered, "A shot of tequila to start my night."

Following my request, she grabbed a bottle of tequila and a simple shot glass. She filled it up then slid it over to me, the smirk on her face only growing as she leaned herself across the table, her shirt dropping down a bit low for my liking.

"Are you here alone or what? You're pretty handsome to be here alone? I get off in 10 minutes, care for some company?" She asked, her voice sounding flirtatious.

Feeling my cheeks warm up, I awkwardly tugged at the collar of my button up shirt, my blue eyes looking at her uneasy. "I..I'm flattered, but um.. I'm gay", I told her, her smirk now dropping into a frown. She gave a him of disapproval before walking away to attend to other customers.

Disappointed. Like always he made sure another girl left disappointed. It was always the same thing every time he went out. People never expect me to be gay, but once I told them they were leaving with frowns on their faces.

"Jesse, what the hell man! This is your birthday gathering and you're all alone. Come on. Elena grabbed us a table with a couple of guys she friended. Let's go", Derreck, one of my long time friends said as he came behind me and patted my shoulders. "Elena even said that they're handsome men. You might get lucky and take one home with you tonight", he continued.

Rolling his eyes, he took his shot before mumbling a "yeah right".

Boy was I wrong that night. I had followed Derreck over to the table where three guys were sitting, all handsome, but one stood out more to me. He looked unreal, almost as if I was imagining him was there. He was dressed in a simple black v-neck shirt that showed off the ink he had engraved on his skin, dark blue jeans, and his hair was messy, some covering the front of his green colored eyes. The moment we locked eyes I knew that I was trapped.

I was always careful with who I spoke to and who I met. I made sure to keep to myself most of the times when I was out. Being a homosexual guy was hard, especially when you were as little as me. Growing up being bullied by kids and adults I made sure to only speak to those I felt comfortable with. Staring at the tattooed man in front of me I knew he was one I should be clear from, but that didn't happen.