Chasing a New Sunrise

Chapter 4

I shoot up in bed like a freaking jack in the box. Gasping for air I reach to the nightstand for the glass of water I left after my run in with Ethan this morning. I try to take small sips while my chest heaves up and down.

Mom burst into the room, nearly knocking the door off its hinges from the force. She crosses the small room in seconds and sits, wrapping her arms around me.

"It was just a car backfiring."

She runs a hand through my hair attempting to calm me.

My whole body shakes, wondering if I'll ever forget the sound of gunshots. I wasn't there in person when dad died. Instead, I watched the whole thing unfold on live TV before they could cut to commercial.

Mom is trying to calm me by making gentle shushing sounds, while rubbing my back.

Through the old ratty curtains that come with the place I can just see the hazy sun starting to rise. Shit! I pull away from mom, confusion riding on her face.

"I'm gonna be late!"

"I thought you were getting a ride from that cute boy..."

"I am mom," I say, standing.

My legs wobble and I need to take a quick second to relax so that they stop feeling like jell-o.

"It's just he told me 6:45 and it's like five minutes past. I don't even know if he's still waiting."

I sigh, rushing over to one of the boxes of clothes. I didn't get to put away everything and most of the clothes I did put away were the winter ones. I reached in for my black crop top, light blue high rise skinny jeans and my checkered vans that I swore up and down were gone for good until they arrived on the truck.

I start undressing and mom just sits there staring at me.

"Honey, I could take you..."

"It's okay mom, showing up the first day at a new school senior year with my mom would give the entire senior class reason to mock me for the entire year. No offense," I say.

Mom laughs and it's honestly a sound I haven't heard in months.

"I get it, I was a teenager once too," she says. "Plus that boy who's driving you is super cute."

"Mom, no one says super cute anymore," I say.

She laughs again and stands. I shimmy the pants up my leg and she stops me in my tracks as I go to button them up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asks, her voice turning serious.

I suck in a deep breath and nod.

"Honey, you're going to have a great senior year, the one you deserve. One without people taunting you over what your daddy did..."

"Mom, don't. I don't want to look like a wreck on my first day."

"Right," she says, a half smile on her face.

"Go darling, have a great first day."

She sets a gentle kiss on top of my head. I swipe my sunflower print jansport bag off the floor and throw it over my shoulder.

"Oh sweetie what about breakfast?" she asks.

"I'll grab a poptart on the way out."

"Okay, have a great day," she calls as I race out of the room.

I start to shove a cherry poptart in my backpack while opening the front door at the same time and as the door opens I smack into someone.

"We really have to stop meeting like this," Ethan's playful voice says.