Totally Normal (A Hobbit story)

This Is Just An SNL Sketch I'm Using For This Chapter

A/N) I can't believe I'm doing another memoriam, certainly not one so soon after the last unfortunate loss. The required three days of mourning has passed, so let's turn our attention to the subject of today's note; actor Ian Holm, who had played Bilbo Baggins has passed away June 19, 2020. As you know, Bilbo is the beau of this story, so this loss is not only extremely close, but extremely personal because of the close attachment I have to him.
The reason I chose Bilbo rather than popular guys like Kili or Thranduil is actually very simple. His life- adventuring and home in the Shire is exactly what I would want. Bilbo is an amazing character who is clever and kind, so you can imagine how astounded I was when I realized that practically no one has written about him, so I am aiming to fix that.
Bilbo may not be not an elf prince or a badass ranger, or a fierce dwarf warrior, but I have not brushed him to the side because I see what's in his heart, and I happen to think he has a good one.

Ian Holm, you were the reason I felt that first attachment to Bilbo, and I personally want to thank you for everything you have done for him. I know you're ready for this next adventure, and I hope you find that peace and rest.

So to you readers, I have written you a very special treat.
The next chapter is not finished yet (and it is mind-boggling) but I have to give you something for this. So, while I am taking my sweet time, please enjoy this ripoff I took from an SNL sketch, and enjoy some whimsical out-of-universe nonsense.
~

Opening on a new set, Thorin, Tanya, and Bilbo find themselves three new guests on Middle Earth's new favorite game show.

In the brightly lit studio, Gandalf stands behind his podium, holding his que cards, while our three players stand behind three podiums of their own, with their names tagging the front.

Suddenly a voice from the speakers comes through, identified as Gandalf's colorful colleague in calamity, Radagast the Brown. His kooky happy voice announced, "It's time to play,"

And the live studio audience says with him,
"What's-Wrong-With-This-Picture?"

Gandalf gave a neutral grin to the audience as he spoke with his loud, booming, gameshow host voice, "Greetings everybody. I am your host Gandalf the Grey, and welcome to another round of What's Wrong With This Picture. The rules are simple; all you have to do is look at the picture, tell me what's wrong with it, and if you're right, you may win a Lonely Mountain, the ultimate kingdom for thic' boys." He said.

Then, turning to the contestants' section, asked "Alright contestants, are you ready to play? Thorin?" He asked.

"Very well, old man." Thorin grinned widely into his microphone and simply nodded once.

The elderly host stared- almost stunned, but stated with a shake of his head, "I don't like that." Then he turned to the next contestant. "Tanya?"

As the camera turned to her, she smiled and looked around. "I didn't come here to make friends, but I'd like it to happen." She simply shrugged. Franky, she was just happy to be there.

Shrugging with an "Okay," Gandalf turned to the final contestant. "Bilbo?" He called.

Said boy was staring off into space, but the sound of his name seemed to snap hin back to his surroundings. Blinking, he looked to the host expectantly. "Huh? What's that?" He asked.

Gandalf made a gesture towards him with his card-holding hand. "I'm introducing you." Gandalf told the Hobbit.

"Oh, thank you." Bilbo smiled.

Suddenly Gandalf had a look of disappointment and dumbfoundedness as he looked away. "Okay. I guess this was who was available at 2pm on a weekday." He said to himself. "Alright, let's go to your first puzzle."