Totally Normal (A Hobbit story)

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

For nearly a half hour, the Company had faithfully been following the stone path winding through the forest, with very little conversation- or words in general outside of the occasional direction of where the path turned. So over that course of time, Tanya had wandered next to Thorin and suddenly stated, "You're nearsighted."

There was no question or plea for confirmation. She just said it plainly as any conversation starter.

"What?" Thorin asked, looking beside him.

Tanya rolled her eyes and tilted her head back. "Must I repeat myself? You're nearsighted."

He gave her a half squint and wondered, "How would you know that?" It wasn't like he was waving a giant flag or constantly asking for his old man spectacles.

"The way your eyes look around." Tanya explained. "I can tell just by seeing them."

Keep in mind, only Bilbo and you even know that Tanya isn't actually Tanya (more on that later), so Thorin was not at all suspicious of her walking up to him and beginning a conversation when their last conversation had ended with their mutual agreement to be friends.

Not that Thorin was ever one for small talk, but he at least made an effort when he asked, "How come you didn't say before?"

And Tanya responded with, "Have we been this close before?"

To any normal conversation that might sound like playful banter, but I think you and I know that fake Tanya was genuinely asking.

But Thorin simply smiled while reminiscing, and said, "Well there was the night I hit you, and you scarred my face." He chuckled.

"Well, it was at night." Tanya shrugged.

And Thorin nodded. "Perhaps." He agreed.

"You should thank me." Tanya added, very confidently. "The scar actually looks very becoming."

Suddenly she stretched her arm out to stop him, as he failed to notice the sharp turn the path had just taken, aiding him before he stepped off it.

"The path goes this way." She pointed with a nod of her head. It was a sort of apology for distracting him in the first place. It wasn't like she was just going to let him wander the forest aimlessly!

They walked in silence for about half a minute before she added, "I understand that eyeglasses are more of a liability for a fighter-"

"Yes, I know." Thorin interjected. While she couldn't tell if he was just interrupting, or actually disinterested, she continued anyway. "But don't you think that it may become more of a liability to not see correctly?" She asked.

It took Thorin a while to answer, but he finally huffed and spit out, "It already has." with a grumbling tone of annoyance.

"How so?" She prodded.

It took Thorin another long while to answer, but eventually explained. "The battle of Moria, when I fought Azog, I cut off his arm, when I was actually aiming for his face." He admitted, sounding both embarrassed and agitated.

Tanya took a moment to comprehend all of what he said, then finally admitted, "That's pretty bad aim."

Thorin stared ahead, electing not to look at her with what he said next. "If I had calculated better, much would be different today. You wouldn't have been taken." He mumbled out the last bit.

Tanya immediately turned to him, eyes wide in shock; not that he was looking, then turned and quietly muttered to herself, "Right. I wouldn't have."