Totally Normal (A Hobbit story)

Hey Lover You Don't Have To Be A Star. Hey Lover I Love You Just The Way You Are

Bilbo slowly woke up, opening his eyes, and looked around. He didn't know where he had expected to be when he woke up, but this was certainly not it.

He found himself lying on a cold stone floor- a small room with the doorway barred. With a start he realized he was in some sort of prison cell, but with no memory as to how he would have gotten there. Taking a closer look, he saw that he was indeed being kept in a cell. The room outside the cell seemed circular, with a cell across from him and one on either side, all dark and empty.

'I'm dreaming,' he thought, 'This has got to be a dream.'

Bilbo was completely alone.

"Hello? Is anybody out there?"

"Hello?" A voice called from the cell across the way; somehow a familiar voice.

And out of the darkness, a lone figure came into focus, grasping at the bars.

This figure- a woman, he observed; had pitch white hair, pale white-silver skin, and completely white eyes surrounded by a rim of black around her eyes.

"...Hello..." Bilbo said in careful observation.

The creature stared at him with wide eyes. "Bilbo?" She uttered.

And his jaw dropped open. Many things suddenly clicked into place all at once, and the floor practically rocked underneath him.

"Wait, Tanya?" he sat up straighter and grasped onto the bars in front of him.

Her jaw was dropped open like a dead freshwater goby fish. It's little eyes popping out of its head, those little round lips puffed back. Yellow and black spots stretched over its thin, little body- still shiny from the slimed up scales.

"How did you get here?" Tanya stared in bewilderment.

But Bilbo was just as dazed as her, and instead asked her, "Is this real?"

With a pointed look, he also asked, "Is that really you there?"

And to this, Tanya tilted her head. "Well if I wasn't me, I'd have a few dozen questions to answer to the guys handling my home and auto insurance."

And that was his boom moment there. No one was like his Tanya except the real Tanya.

Taking advantage of his silence and amazed expression had amused Tanya, so she managed a half-hearted grin. "How long has it been?" She asked.

"About a week, I think." He blinked, not realizing how exactly he knew- but not the events leading up to how he ended up in a cell.

Tanya chuckled. Clearly he had something important to say and didn't know how to say it. So she quietly waited on him to properly gather any sort of coherent sentence. "That's the haze." She noted his confusion. "That'll clear up in a bit. So what's the last thing you remember?"

"You were taken prisoner," Bilbo spoke on his own, seeming like he didn't hear her. He looked around into the dark and cold cell block. "And you ended up here?"

"Oh no this is my summer home." Tanya retorted back with a toothy grin. "I winter in the Riviera. The schools are nicer there. And the women; ooh la la." She wriggled her chest and shoulders with humorous closed eyes.

But Bilbo could not give even a breath of a laugh for her. He was too caught up in a daze actually looking at just her.

By comparison, her natural features were a bit... sharper. Cheekbones and chin had a bit more angle to them.