Totally Normal (A Hobbit story)

T'was The Summer Of 2009

A/N) By the way, tearing skin on your lips, or Dermatillomania is an uncommon, but very real mental health symptom of OCD and anxiety, so please take it seriously as it is a form of self harm. Mental health is very serious, so If any of you out there are struggling with any sort of mental illness, please make sure you take charge of it, and look into finding proper and good help. I know you don't read this for mental health advice, but I Do Not Care. It's important.

We take mental health seriously around here, and it's not something that is or should just be used for a plot device. Anyone struggling deserves help.

~

Bilbo calmly knocked on the door and quietly called for, "Tanya?" in case she was sleeping.

After receiving no response, he slowly poked his head in to see her.

She was laying down on top of the covers of the giant bed, and silently stared at the ceiling. Based on her stillness and the way her hands were placed on her belly, he thought she might have been in a deep sleep, but he saw her new yellow colored eyes looking away from him.

"You're still awake?" Bilbo asked softly as he stepped into the room and quietly closed the door behind him.

"I cannot close my eyes. The darkness is where the monster hides." She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest while she stared at him with her yellow eyes. "Why are you here? Did you volunteer?"

"I," he tried to find the right words. Delicate; be delicate. "I wanted to see if you wanted some company. I didn't think you should be alone." Definitely don't ask if she's alright. It's pretty clear she isn't, so better to not rock the proverbial boat.

He slowly walked up to her until he saw her tense up, so he raised a hand, showing her he meant no harm. "I wanted to talk to you about that night on the cliffs." He said as a knot of butterflies flashed in his stomach.

"You mean when the group was split?" Tanya tilted her head. "What about it?"

Bilbo breathed out, trying to shake off the nervousness he was suddenly drowning in. Talking with girls was never something he'd been good at. "Well before you were taken, you said you cared for me. I just wanted to-"

"Ask what I meant?" Tanya inserted. "See if my feelings are unbent." For some reason, she gave him a condescending look, like she was uninterested in a conversation.

"No." Bilbo shook his head. "I wanted to tell you... that... I care for you." He admitted.

Suddenly Tanya's expression melted into confusion and shock. "...What..?"

She was too startled to even finish the rhyme.

He took the final steps to close the distance between them and stole her hand that still hugged her knees. Now that she was closer to him he could tell by the redness in her eyes she had been crying. More than anything he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her.

"Tanya, I care for you so much. I've wanted to tell you for so long. I've missed you more than I've ever missed someone while you were gone. It nearly destroyed me every night. But now that you're back, I want to be with you." He announced.

He waited for her response, with bubbling anticipation, that grew by the second as she kept looking down at him. As the seconds ticked by, his mind raced with many possibilities of her response.

Would she return his affection or refuse him? Would she turn him tell him to go away? Maybe she was so angry that he left her behind, that she would leave for good, and he would never see her again.

Each possibility was starting to see more and more likely the longer she stayed silent and stared at him. It was enough to make him look away completely, embarrassed he even revealed his true feelings.