THIS IS NOT THE END!

A TOUGH FIGHT!

   I couldn't sleep for the whole night. I was awake appreciating my luck. That calmness she carries. I kept ruffling her hair back, moving my palm on her dimple less chin. I remember her unique love for dimples. She kept cursing everyone with dimples back in Devisarai hospital. She is so obsessed with dimples that she ended up dating a guy just because he had those dimples. I remember that day I laughed and taunted her on being such a 'stupid' person. Her innocence, her kindness flicker from her face. She has that dusky skin tone that is very rare. I wonder how I keep discovering her features and it keeps on popping the next like it has no limits to restrict and one can just get lost and amazed by her beauty.

"Stay by my side always" I remember her these words that have been engraved forever in my heart. Intense and painful.

I cuddled her up. Well, I even felt like teasing her and waking her up so that we both could spend this night gazing at the moonlight and star under blanket sipping coffee. Also, I wanted her to realize how lucky she is to be offered coffee by me. I make the best coffee and for her probably would have added much more love and compassion.

I was cherishing this moment. She has no idea what a magnificent soul she is. Also, I just noticed she sleeps with her mouth half-open. I tried shutting it but again it gets back to its original state. I laughed and also captured a boomerang to mock her and blackmail her later. I keep my box filled with such embarrassing things as a weapon to use.

I chuckled silently.

I tucked her in my arm more and fall asleep.

"Morning!", she whispered

"Morning beautiful!",I replied.

Her face turned pale. She was terrified and scared. She tried to put that charming smile on her but her face failed to keep that strong look (for a second I could see the reflection of her father in her). She held me closer. I could feel her heart-gripping quickly. Nor did I have good vibes about the future.

"You know you are such a mannerless girl?",I taunted her.

"What?",Her confused voice said.

I showed her boomerang. She was so frustrated. Her some look said how desperately she wanted to kill me but then she smiled.

Why her smile melts my heart? I can never grasp that logic. Why do some people have that plus point to let go, to bring anger down just by their smile?

We've got ready for our examination. More complicated for her. I wish there should be some way we could take or even divide someone's pain.

I prepared or was forced to follow orders from my entire family to have 'yogurt and sugar' before we leave our house for the surgeries.

I obeyed!

Well, I wanted to believe in all superstitions, zodiac assumptions, or maybe even whatsaap luck forwards. I just wanted to see the surgery turn successful.

We approached Kensington hospital.

She got dressed up. She had MRI scans to be done first. I was allowed to be with her. When she got in that blue gown thunder touched her feet. She was scared and I felt sorry. Before lying for the MRI scan she came to me and said,

"I am really scared! Does the MRI scan hurt? I know it doesn't but maybe it can hurt me?"

I sighed.

"Well it doesn't hurt and if the miracle happens and it hurts only to you then you already are a pro player! You guys suffer that pain of waxing then its a just a 'Dog and bone' game for you", I reassured her.

"I have Claustrophobia", She continued seemingly more afraid this time.

"Imagine our last night or your cliche pickup line blah blah", I replied assuming her to at least smile.

Well, she ignored my lame joke. I hate her for this. Before I could crack some other lame jokes she gave me an unexpected kiss. Probably to shut me down!

It felt different!

It felt like the last kiss. Did she felt the same? Is it the last only kiss? Should I just stop her and take her back to our place? Should I just kidnap her and take to some 'old sage' and let him treat her?

My brain was messing up.

"I love you always", She said

"I love you always", I replied with a choked voice.

She went, got her MRI scan done. Shifted to the operation theatre. I was not allowed there. I waited in that hospital corner. I was going blank. Blur visions.Negative thoughts.Legs, hands shivering in pain. I sat back supporting my crippled body on the chair. My heartbeat rising. I was starting to panic already. My voice getting chocked. Sweat covering all over my face.

Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future. Faith is the courage to dance to it today."

– Peter Kuzmic

Okay, my confidence and hope started to crumble. Closing all doors. I tried to close my eyes, tried breathing exercises, and sought meditation. With every outpouring and inhalation, I felt better. I've been calling Tej and talking about everything, every emotion, ever thought I was fighting with. As always he succeeded in bringing back positive vibes. He also vowed to take the next flight to join us and support us. I was overjoyed.

It 's been about  4 hours. After the next half an hour, the red bulb was turned off. I ran to talk to Julio. He looked tensed. He looked anxious and nervous. My heart went dead. His footsteps started approaching me and my leg felt paralyzed.

"Tell me she is okay and the surgery was successful?",I asked.

"I can't be sure about it. I have no idea. Let's wait for her to get back to her consciousness", He replied with a tired voice.

"Also we need another surgery and radiation therapy to be done if she gets her consciousness back", He continued.

"It's not easy Aavir, as a doctor you must know we can just treat but happens next is depends on their destiny", He ended and went to his cabin.

Destiny? Is he kidding me? Well, then why doctors even treat? I feel shame in choosing as a career that leaves everything on destiny. I failed to treat my love.

It was more than 12hrs! Fortunately, her monitor lines were still fine. I began praying. I went to church, mosque, temple, and prayed all of them. I bought Lord Ganesha's idol and prayed all day. I read mantras, every possible mantra google had. My parents were more worried. Luckily Tej arrived. He was shocked by those dark circles and sleep-deprived face. We both burst into tears. I was turning into a spiritual person who never believed in things such as fate. I kept wandering in corridors waiting for her to wake up and talk to me. Plan our wedding. Travel world. Have her in my arm. Make her feel special. I even vowed never to tease or make her cry. I just wanted her alive.Alive with me.
 
What if destiny fails to bring her back?What if she never comes back? I knew. That last kiss signified THE LAST KISS. I knew it. Julio never leaves things to destiny. Tej tried consoling me but my questions kept on raising. My overthinking had reached its peak. I lost my appetite. I would do whatever I am asked to do to get her life back. I mean it!

 "Life is a very precious gift. And unfortunately, you don't truly realize it until you are fighting to stay alive." 

Thank you!
Next post soon.