Love After Life

Nine: Stage of Denying

*Note: Expect that there are typos and wrong grammars here*

-:-

I can really feel the heavy atmosphere that is surrounding us right now. I noticed his body stiffened, while his lips were pursed. Sa totoo lang, gusto kong murahin si ate ngayon dahil sa ginawa niyang paglaglag sa akin na crush ko si Iven pero hindi ito ang tamang oras para isipin iyon. We need to make an excuse!

Bubulong na sana ako kay Iven nang siya na mismo ang sumagot sa mga tanong ni ate.

"Well you said it for yourself that your sister is a reserved person so maybe she didn't tell you that we are friends. Also, I was the who found out that she was sick before she could ever tell me. I caught her having a hard time dealing with her disease when we were in the same organization and that was the time she told me everything including the journal thing."

My lips parted when he blurted an amazing excuse! Hindi ko maiwasang mamangha dahil nalusutan niya ang mga tanong ni ate. Siya pa talaga ang nagsabi na ayaw niyang nagsisinungaling but it looks like he is good with it. Hindi ko nga iyon naisip eh, pero napaisip din ako sa sinabi niya dahil naalala ko rin dati na patago kong ginagawa yung medications ko noon sa org namin. Totoo kayang nakita niya ako dati?

I shifted my gaze to my sister and I saw how she was surprised with what Iven had said. Mukhang nagulat din siya sa sinabi ni Iven.

"Oh."

Ang tanging lumabas sa bibig ni ate. Hindi ko alam pero bigla na lang siya tumingin sa baba. I tried to look at her but it seems like she is hiding her face from us, from Iven.

Napatingin ako kay Iven at nakita ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya dahil sa ginawa ni ate. He licked his lower lips and pulled something inside his coat and it was a handkerchief. He handed out to my sister which made me smile. Ang caring naman pala ni Constello!

"Are you okay?" He asked with his worried voice. My ate promptly shook her head.

"I-I'm okay. Can we just talk t-tomorrow? Ako na mismo ang pupunta sa univ ninyo. Ganitong oras ba yung labas mo bukas?"

Ate asked without looking at Iven. I can't help but to bite my lips. It was a torture for me watching my sister cry silently because of me, her voice was breaking at parang pinipilit lang niya pasiglahin iyon. Hindi niya tinannggap ang panyo ni Iven. Nanatili lang siyang nakatayo habang nakayuko.

"Yes." Maikling sagot ni Iven at binaba ang kaniyang kamay na may hawak sa panyo.

"Alright. I'll meet you there."

Sabi ni ate bago kami nilagpasan. Agad akong lumingon para tignan siyang maglakad paalis. I have this urge to follow her, pero parang nakadikit lang ang aking mga paa sa lupa. I want to follow her but I can't. I want to comfort her but I can't. I want to be with her but I can't. I just can't.

"You're not going to follow your sister?"

Lumungon ako kay Iven. Nakatalikod pa rin siya sa akin at hindi lumulingon.

"No."

"Why?" I don't know but I noticed a hint of sadness in his tone.

"Tara na. Mag-uusap naman kayo bukas diba?"

I tried to cheer my voice so that the atmosphere wouldn't be gloomy at all. Ayoko na kasing maging malungkot. I've been sad through out my life dahil sa sakit ko, ayoko namang maging malungkot ulit ngayon na isa na lang akong kaluluwa. I've yad enough.

"Yeah. Wala naman na akong magagawa." Napangiti ako. Mukhang napansin yata ni Iven na ayaw kong pag-usapan ang tungkol doon dahil hindi na siya nag tanong ulit. I'm glad that he's not insensitive after all.