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          my feet thudded on the ground as I ran following Sirius's black outline through the deserted London streets. I forced back tears as I ran, I couldn't cry. not now, not yet. I had to finish my job first. my wand was held tightly in my hand, my knuckles white from the force, the fear of dropping it in the back of my mind. 

          I needed to do this. I had to do this. not for myself, but for James and Harry and Sirius, Remus. even Lily. 

          the run was short but we ran right into a crying Hagrid a block away from the house. Sirius stopped but I continued running, ignoring them entirely. 

          I was him, he was small, anyone else would never have seen him woven in the tall green grass, but I did. I growled lowly 

"Accio" the small brown rat flew to my hand. I gripped it tight my knuckles turning white from the fierce grip. it let out small sqeueaks and cries of protest, attempting hopelessly to wriggle free. 

          I snarled just as Sirius ran into the backyard to meet me. I looked to face him and in my idiotic moment of distraction. the rat had wriggled free and now was a boy, an innocent-looking, scared boy. Peter. the boy I had gone to parties with and called one of my brothers. my friend. and he had betrayed me. an enraged noise rose from th back of my throat, a mix between a snarl and a yell, full of pain and betrayal as I lunged at him. he squeaked as I jumped on him gripping his throat with a deathly force, knuckles white as snow. he choked out breaths and clawed at my hands, desprate for air. 

          "YOU KILLED HIM! HE WAS YOUR FRIEND AND YOU KILLED HIM!" I screeched, my vision going blurry, fuled by rage. I felt two strong cold hands pull me off him, I kicked and squirmed in attemt to break free.

          I could only think of the irony of how mere seconds ago I was the one in power the one in control and now I was the one fighting and squirming. that's the direction my life always seemed to take. 

          when I looked back, the only thing that remained was a single severed finger, going white and bleeding out staining the green grass a crimson red. my eyes fixated on it as it twitched in its last moments of life. the blood pooled around it sinking into the earth. I wanted nothing more than to scram or yell or cry, or something. but I didn't know what. I didn't know what to do. I had been so foolish. what was I thinking? I began to panic, my breath quicking at an uneven pace. Sirius stood frozen in shock behind me starring off into the distance. 

          "Y/n..." his eyes we wide the moon refected in the back pupils. "we need to go. now. right fucking now" he grabbed my hand and turned to run back to the front of the house only to be met face to face by a man, much taller than him. his raven black hair was slicked back and his face was stuck in what looked to be a never ending snarl. his wand aimed at the both of us. he spoke, his voice low and commanding. 

        "don't move! the both of you are under arrest for the murder of James and Lily Potter along with Peter Pettigrew!" I let out a strangled noise of protest "anything you say can and will be used against you in court" I quickly tuned and began to run the other way when multiple auruors surrounded us, clad in formal black robes, all with their wands directed at us. two quickly stepped forward and restrained myself and Sirius, pulling us away from each other. 

        I was kicking and thrashing about, swinging limbs violently in a suicide attempt to break free. they remove my wand from my boot and Sirius's from his hand. I had given up on fighting back now. the exhaustion and grief finally hitting me like a ton of bricks. they dragged us apart from each other. Sirius didn't fight back, his fac was blank but I could see it in his eyes, he was slipping. If I didn't help him I was truly going to lose him forever. I sobbed,

"let me see him! let me see my brother!" I kicked and clawed at the auruor holding me. he merely ignored me and attached two heavy iron chains around my ankles and around my wrists. the metal snapping shut with an echoing clang. The auruor snarled in my ear. 

"your a criminal that's all you'll ever be. a pathetic, disgusting, supremacist snake" 

~~~~

          Azkaban was cold. not just physically. it was the kind of cold that settle into your bones and never truly left you, even after you were gone. the kind of cold that twisted your insides and turned your blood blue. 

          twelve years. I had no interactions of any sort. the closest thing I got was when they would walk prisoners past my isolated cell. I constantly taunted dementors, craving pain or to feel something, anything at all. I never got it. 

          there was no sunlight, no warmth, the food was shit, that was the rare occasion I actually at. the only time I actually would is when they shoved it down my throat to keep me alive just a little longer. 

        every second of it was dreadful. I was done for. I couldn't last another second in here. even if I got out what did I have to go back to? my brother was dead. Peter gone. Remus undoubtedly hated my guts. and Harry. fuck he probably didn't even know my name. and I wouldn't blame him. no one would want to tell him about his aunt, the screw up, depressed, alcoholic. He was better off not knowing. 

~~~~ 

          Sirius swam through the icy waters below me as I flew above him. my feather were long and unkept. Sirius was even worse. his fur was long and shaggy, the black curls matted and tangled. I was so tired, my head drooping and wings faltering, but I just had to make it to shore. i had to make it to shore.

         I had to find him. 

~~~~

GUYS THIS IS IT. THE END OF BOOK ONE. omg holy fuck I love you guys all so much thank you if your actually reading this. I'll be starting the sequel soon but as you guys know I tend to have VRY slow and irregular updates so thanks for putting up with me. so uh yeah. here it is. the end of book one. 

𝕴 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 ~ Regulus black x readerWhere stories live. Discover now