The Post-It Note Girl

(9) The Post-It Note Girl

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"Why do you cut?" Those words were repeating in my head. I couldn't. I just couldn't answer it. But I can't just walk up and leave. I mean I'm stuck here and its pitch black outside I wouldn't even make it even if I tried. Maybe I could just change the subject, or just go to a room and lock myself in there.

"Alexis?" James said snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Umm...w-what do you mean?" I trembled.

"Alexis, I'm serious I see your wrist."

"Your going to judge me anyways. Just like the rest of them." I snapped.

"I won't. Just tell me. Please." he begged.

"Okay fine. I do cut." I admitted.

Even if it was dark the light showed our faces so I can see his reaction. He looked at me the back to my wrist.

"Why?" he choked out.

"Because I just don't feel comfortable with my own body. I don't look like the girl next door and I-I just get so frustrated sometimes because of how I look. And my parents," I let out a sigh, "god, they made me feel so bad about myself. I don't want to go over the details about all of this but yeah. That's half of it." I muttered.

The other half was about him bullying me. But I just decided to leave that off.

"But why can't you just stop?" He said so easily as it rolled off his tongue. I could tell he obviously. didn't understand. It's like asking a drug addicts why cant they stop doing drugs.

"James, you don't understand. You don't understand cutters unless you've held that razor and drew it to your wrist. It's so hard to stop, and I don't think I'll be able to do that."

He then did something I didn't expect him to do. He gently grabbed my hand, and turned it over to see my wrist. Since I harmed myself recently, the scab was still there and it was deep.

You could see the line where I cut and it was even hard for me to look at. I looked at James and he just looked at my wrist with sadness in his eyes. My vision was getting blurry. My wrist was getting numb. I just couldn't hold on anymore.

"I may not understand what your going through, but I will be here for you and make sure stop." he said letting go of my wrists. I didn't expect him to say that.

"B-but what about what you said in English? About how Demi was an attention seeker and all that shit?"

"I guess I never really understood till now. I can see the pain in your eyes. I'm sorry." he softly said.

I wiped my tears away, and took deep breaths to calm myself down. "It's okay." I said. "Do you know who else cuts?" I asked him. I was curious if he knew anyone else.

"Nope your the first, and I'm gonna make sure your the last." he said in a cheerful town. Trying to lighten up the atmosphere and as smiled at me.

"Thank you." I said returning a smile. Maybe I mistakened James. Maybe he really did have, a heart.

I guess we'll have to find that out later.

"Come on its 12 a.m we should sleep now." James suggested. I nodded, and he grabbed my hand as he led me to the couch. Since that little light on the table wasn't enough for us to see the whole living room, and one of us surely would have fallen again. Normally, I would pull away, but right now his hands interlocking with mine felt okay. It felt nice.

Thank god, the lights we're out because this whole night I've been smiling, but I didn't and will never have feelings for him.

"Good night." he says as we found found the other couches with the pillows and blankets on them.

"Good night." I replied.

We laid down on separate couches, and listened to the rain crashing down. The vibration of the thunder shook the house.

James wanted to protect me. He actually cares for me. I think this is the start of a really good friendship. But friendships don't start off with secrets, right? I'm still going to ask him about that picture frame. My grin grew wider at that thought, then I fell into a deep sleep.

(A/N) Hey BR♥Tz! Sorry its short, I'm just really tired. I mean its dark and cold outside. I just want to drink some hot chocolate, and watch "The Notebook" >.> I know sleepy, lazy, hopeless romantic me xD Anyways song is "Secrets" by the Peirce. Its creepy but personally I absolutely love it<3 It just fits in this chapter. Any PLL fans out there?(;