The Post-It Note Girl

(21) The Post-It Note Girl

(A/N) Hey guys.. Umm, usually when I post another chapter to this story it gets 50 reads in like 2 hours. And when I posted my "Authors Note- Road to Recovery" it only has like 90 reads in a week. And it made me kinda pissed cause you guys only care about me posting another chapter and when you saw " @I_Am_Unbroken posted "Authors Note- Road to Recovery" you said 'oh its just an author note not another chapter.' Like it really hurt cause you guys don't care about me, you just care about this story...

But anyone those who posted comments and voted for my author note, I LOVE U.

♥ And I don't want to recover. I mean its so hard. I lasted 6 days without cutting then I relapsed and broke so yeah I don't like recovering. The life's boring, i want to be the person I am today, and I don't care if my mom doesn't like the new me. I do, and its my life. So yeah recovery isn't an option for me. Everyone wants me to change cause I'm "depressed" but they shouldn't tell me to change cause I am who I am.

Anyways LONG AUTHORS NOTE! Lol anyways read on!

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Ugh I'm having mixed emotions! Like James just kissed me on the cheek and I was falling for him, and I didn't want to- and ASDFHJKL. I don't even know what to do anymore..

He's just so pretty,

I'm constantly thinking about him and it's torturing me because I can't find a way to stop. He is literally becoming my 3 am thoughts, and curl up into a bawl and smile randomly at the thought of him. He is what keeps me up. He's what saved me.

I sighed and decided to get ready for school.

--

As I passed by my locker, I began to twist my combination in. I couldn't help notice the big bright red banner spread across the lockers. It wrote "PROM IN 5 WEEKS! GET READY GIRL AND GUYS FOR THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE!" in big letters.

Then I saw someone wrote "P.S hey guys remember to ask her out!" I scoffed when I saw that.

Guess its that time of the year again. The year where all the girls go shopping and find that perfect dress, but most importantly getting asked by that special guy they always dreamed off. Slow dancing, and just being with the one that you love, and the one that loves you back.

I never went to prom, cause no one asks me out. I was always in those invisible cliques, and no one really bothers to talk to us. Anyways, I'm not going to go, no one will ask me this year I thought to myself.

I grabbed my books for first hour, and I went to look for James but he wasn't here yet. Hmm, guess he's late as usual. I arrived at my class, and noticed their was a substitute teacher since Mrs. Ratchet wasn't here today.

The substitute teacher was Mr. Swicks. He was in his mid 20's, fairly young for a teacher. Anyways, he never really taught our class, he usually teaches the 12th graders, but not us. I grabbed a seat since the class was starting and James wasn't here.

"Okay class, I'm your sub since Mrs. Ratchet isn't here today. She forgot to leave me the assignment were supposed to do in class, so you guys can have a study hall 'till the end of the class." he said. And after he said that the door open, and then walked in James. Everyone was moving around changing seats to talk to their friends, since today was a free hour.

So I walked over to James and pulled up a seat to sit next to him.

"Hey" I said.

He looked at me and smiled, but his face looked like he was concentrating on something. "You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah its just so stressful. You know schoolwork and prom coming up."

"Why are you stressed out about prom?" I asked since I was a bit curious.

"I dont know, really. Its just that I always go to prom this year and I'm scared to ask someone." he sighed.

He took a deep breath and continued, "Cause you know, I don't know if I should ask this girl."

"Whats her name?" I asked.

"Well her names Clarissa, my mom introduced me to her since she was one of her co-wokers daughter. She doesn't go here though, I'm scared of asking her to prom." James said lifting his eyes to meet mine. "We used to talk a few months ago, but that stopped. Then, last night she called and invited me over to dinner with her parents."

My heart dropped. Clarissa? Why hasn't he told me about her? I wanted James to ask me to prom, but he wants to ask that Clarissa girl. Man, I sound crazy.

I cleared my throat and acted normal. "Oh, well I'm sure she would say yes, if you would just ask her.. Just try not to be nervous and act normal"

"Your right." James said. "Thanks."

Then for the rest of the hour I was just deep in thought. I can't believe it. I really don't look forward to prom, but a little part of me kinda thought James would ask me.

Its okay. If James is happy, I should be happy. It hurts me so much if i see him talking to a girl. It hurts me everyday that he doesn't know I secretly like him. I get a bit jealous because he probably likes her. Whenever he talks to me, I don't know what to say or how to react, and I don't know how but I choke at my own unspoken words

I don't have a chance. I never will.

He won't know my feeling towards him. . he won't ever figure out the way I look at him.

I just wish... he knew