AKA My Boyfriend

Chapter 17

I wandered around Manhattan aimlessly. I had nowhere to go, so sleep is a big fat no. How was it already night? I was only out for a couple hours. My life choices suddenly crashed on me.

If I had never been caught kissing a boy at school, I could possibly still be living with my mom until I'm ready to move out. Maybe I would've focused on a good school instead of just getting into any school that accepted me.

Maybe if I had sucked it up and went to school to become a doctor like my dad, then I would be having a successful career. Instead, I fall in love with some guy who thinks I don't deserve him. I found myself at a bar that I was unfamiliar with.

I was drinking like my life depended on it. I had never felt so useless. No house, no way to pay for my phone. I might as well get rid of it. I might as well sit on the corner with a sign saying "God bless" and kiss my life goodbye.

The bartender looked at me, sympathy in his eyes. "We're closing now. You need help getting out of here?" I could barely register what he even said. The world was spilling like a top, my stomach was churning, his big hands helping me stand up.

I have no place to go. The bartender looks back at someone. "He's way too drunk..." The guy says. It's about 2 or 3 in the morning and the world is still very dark. I press myself against the mystery man to escape the darkness that is taunting me.

I don't want to be alone. I want Jake. I need him... I miss him.

I wake up in a small apartment and for a spit second, I wonder why Jake isn't holding me in his arms. I smell like... Will. I bolt up and realize I'm on the shitty old couch from my old apartment. The smell of manly things filling my nose. No house would ever smell like ramen noodles and axe body spray if I wasn't in Harrison's house. Will was staying with him and Jacob. I knew that since we called each other every day.

Then I see Harrison push a girl out the door with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, babe! My friend is here, he just got out of a bad break up of some sort, so I think it's only fair that you don't remind him of it. I'll make it up to you."

Oh yeah... now I remember. My head throbs against my skull, the thought of death crossing my mind. It would be better than this pounding pain. It would be better than the absolute feeling of hopelessness.

Harrison looks at me and joins me, sitting beside me. "You were drunk and the bartender called us from your phone. We were your only emergency contacts."

Yeah, I deleted Jake from my contacts after the first shot of whiskey.

He swings an arm around me and I lean against him, crying like a baby because I let a 30 year old guy break my heart. I'm sure Jacob and Will are hiding, waiting for me to stop crying. Harrison was always the sweeter one. Will and Jacob always got panicky when I cried.

I sniffles, looking down at myself. I was wearing a baggy shirt that went past my knees, so I assumed it was Jacob's. Probably because he's the only one who does his laundry and has clean shirts. But I had on Harrison's sweatpants. I could tell, he was the only one who wore this size. My size. We were alike.

I blush and pull away. "Sorry..." I sniffle. He shakes his head. "Don't be. I have what can make you happy." He smiles, going to the freezer. Ben and Jerry's. Of course. He knew me.

I ate it silently as Harrison glanced over his shoulder, Will and Jacob finding it safe to come out. "Don't ask him how he's doing." Harrison whispers, thinking I don't hear him. I don't want them to ask, Harrison is a pro. If they ask, I will remember and I will cry again.

I eat silently when suddenly someone is pounding on the apartment door like there's a crazy killer outside. I stand up, my heart beating out of my chest. "Who is it?" I ask.

Harrison winced. "It's... Jake."