No Escape

Moving Forward

Emily looked toward Alison as the blonde sat quietly, uncharacteristically so. It was usually Alison who spoke to fill the silence whenever the two of them were together, and now that they were seated waiting for Alison's appointment with her psychologist, she was quiet, unmoving even. Emily knew it was because she was nervous. She wondered if Alison had been forcing herself to include Emily in the loop by inviting her to this particular session. Emily wasn't sitting in the session itself, though.

Emily placed her hand on Alison's thigh, giving it a slight squeeze. "You ok?"

Alison looked up at her and gave a shaky smile before leaning in towards Emily without giving an answer. Emily wrapped both her arms around her girlfriend and tucked her under her chin. In any other situation, they would have looked like one of those couples who simply wanted to publicly display their relationship. But Alison looked like she hadn't slept in days, and the crease in between Emily's eyebrows showed how much older she was mentally. They were young, but their experiences were years ahead of their bodies.

When Alison was called, Emily had placed a kiss on Alison's temple and she received a weak smile again before Emily watched Alison walk towards the closed door. Emily leaned back knowing exactly why Alison was having a hard time sleeping again. The time of the year when Alison's mother had buried her was only a few days away, and Alison had opened up to her about seeing herself being buried in her dreams again. That wasn't anything she could help Alison with on her own, which was why she knew seeing a professional. Especially since the blonde had to deal with it on her own for the years she had been away. Alison had been repressing the memories and now that she had more time to think about them, they were back worse than before.

Time went by slower than usual when she wasn't with Alison and she had occupied herself with the different magazines lying around. Emily found herself looking at the door every three minutes. But the ninth time she did, she was already annoyed with herself. She stood, not really knowing what she wanted to do, when the door that she had been trying to bore holes in with her eyes opened, and she saw the woman Alison had been seeing for the past few weeks.

Emily didn't waste any time entering the room even as the woman had just started to open her mouth to speak. Emily looked around the spacious room, and she saw Alison on the long couch, the kind where if she felt more comfortable, she could lie down while she spoke to the shrink. Only Alison didn't look the least bit comfortable. Upon seeing Emily, her shoulders seemed to sag, and Emily briskly walked to where she was, kneeling in front of her.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Alison simply shook her head, already on the way to leanign her head on Emily's shoulder, needing to feel closer to the only person she was willing to look weak around. Emily's arms came around her, and she looked up at the woman who was studying the two of them with kind eyes. Emily shifted so she was seated beside Alison, and she tucked the blonde securely into her. "Ali?"

"I don't think I can do this."

Emily's heart constricted. She released a breath and, if possible, her arms tightened around Alison more. She pressed her lips to Alison's temple, and for a few minutes they were silent. She held her girlfriend until the blonde wasn't so stiff, and she pulled only as far away as Alison's arms around, still gripping Emily close. "Will it help if I'm here?"

Emily was aware of movement in her peripheral vision, and she guessed it was the psychologist trying to get in the way of her staying. Alison was going to be different with her there, Emily knew. Alison had always been a little more open, a little less inclined to keep things to herself, but she would also be less inclined to do this for herself, and really more for Emily. Emily didn't know if that was oging to be helpful for Alison as a whole.