No Escape

Bare My Heart

A few weeks into the school year, getting nearer and nearer to their graduation found Emily sitting on the couch waiting for Alison to come home after another scheduled session with the police. Emily had wanted to go with her, but she had her own appointment to keep which she conveniently didn't mention to Alison, not even ready to face the facts herself. She turned on the television and leaned back on the couch, not wanting to think about what she had been told.

It wasn't long before Alison came back after she did, and her girlfriend passed by where she was, looking worn out from her trip to the station as she always did, and went to the kitchen to drop off some groceries she'd bought. That was one thing that seemed to lighten Emily's mood. Emily insisted that Pam move to Texas again to be with Emily's father and that left Alison and Emily alone at home to take care of themselves. And basically it felt like they had already moved in together.

Emily had been initially worried that things wouldn't go as smoothly as she would like, but they had somehow both grown up in the past couple of months, years really, and they both acted a little more mature than their counterparts in school. If anything had come of their interactions with -A, it was that they had been forced to grow up faster, deal with a lot of things they shouldn't be dealing with yet sooner. And somehow, Emily and Alison had slid into the roles of two people living together easily.

The bustle in the kitchen meant that Alison was preparing dinner, and Emily stood up to go help her. Sometimes they would cook together, and sometimes only one of them did, but Emily felt this was a day for the former. She had always felt a silent connection with Alison when she did, a kind of familiarity that she could only feel around Alison.

Alison was in tune with Emily enough to know that something was on her mind, and she knew it was the reason why they were so quiet. They prepared dinner, then settled in the dining area. When they were already done eating and they were still silent, Alison had to start asking questions.

"Emily? What happened today? Where did you go?"

Emily leaned back against her chair, and she sighed. "Doctor. For my shoulder."

Alison, in turn, oriented herself closer by leaning towards her, reaching for her hand, and Emily accepted hers gratefully, needing to anchor herself. "I would have gone with you."

Emily smiled, and Alison noticed that it was somehow hollow. "I would have gone with you," Emily countered. She paused, then shook her head. "I just asked about how I'm going to have to deal with this if... if I wanted to swim again."

There was silence again and it didn't look like Emily was going to say anything. Alison lifted their joined hands and kissed Emily's before getting up to put everything in the dishwasher, after which she led Emily to the living room again and they sat. Alison offered her hands as they did, and Emily understood it as an offer to for her to open up. And if she didn't take Alison's hands then Alison would understand. But they were both trying to get past a point in their lives when they two of them had kept too many secrets, and they once talked about working their way away from that and be more open. Alison had had a more difficult time with it, still unable to share what she was discussing with the police. Emily didn't feel how difficult it was going to be until that moment, but she reach out, taking Alison's hands in hers.

"The operation will be in two weeks. They're giving me time to... I don't know. But they're giving me time. After that, two weeks of complete immobilization, a month of partial immobilization. Then at least four months of physical therapy. Even then-" She broke off, breaking eye contact and looking at their joined hands. Alison waited, knowing Emily would tell her everything, but at her own pace. She watched Emily struggle with something inside her, and knew it was the fear of not being able to slip back into how she was before her injury. "Even then, there's still a 30% chance that I don't fully recover." A pained smile lifted the corners of her lips. "And I've never had the best of luck."