No Escape

One Step Forward...

Alison blinked when she exited the living room and saw Emily standing by the door, closing it behind her. "I... Can I get you anything?"

Emily shook her head and motioned for Alison to do whatever she was supposed to be doing. Alison hesitated. "I'm going to change." She motioned upstairs to indicate her bedroom as if Emily hadn't been in her house several times before. Emily only nodded, and they stood in uncomfortable silence before Alison audibly exhaled. "You should, too." Then she walked up the stairs, pausing only slightly to listen for Emily's footsteps following her.

When she arrived at her room, she went to her closet to grab two sets of clothes. She swallowed as she realized that Emily still had a few sets of her shirts and pants in her wardrobe. They'd been untouched for a while now. She grabbed a set of those and threw them on the bed just as Emily entered. Emily wasn't as wet as she was, since Emily only had to run through the rain from her car to Alison's house.

"Change. I'm just going to shower really quick." Then she was gone.

Emily took the clothes Alison had thrown on her bed, and noticed that they were hers. She'd wondered where this shirt had gone. It seems she still had a few articles of clothing with Ali. She wasn't exactly sure how to feel about that. Not when she'd never even had that same situation with Paige, and Paige was her ex.

Emily already had her shirt off and was threading her hands through the shirt when Ali exited in only a towel. She didn't know how many times they've been silent and awkward around each other starting when Emily picked her up walking in the rain, but Emily knew it was too many for them to even be considered friends. It was like they were strangers now.

She heard Alison mumble a sorry, but not before she'd seen the blonde's eyes wander for a split second, snap back to Emily's eyes as if realizing what she was doing, and hurriedly grab underwear which she apparently forgot to bring to the bathroom. Emily huffed out a breath as she stood frozen for a while, and tried to push down the heat that had risen when Alison had looked at her. She slid the shirt over her head and finished changing. It was only a few minutes later when Alison exited the bathroom, freshly showered, and already in pajamas. Emily wondered if Alison realized that the long sleeved shirt she was wearing was Emily's, the one she had let Alison borrow the last night they had fought. Emily hoped it wasn't some kind of foreshadowing that they were going to fight again that night.

Alison stood not knowing what to do. She wanted Emily to stay, she admitted to herself. But she knew Emily didn't want anything to do with her. Not yet, anyway. She bit her lower lip in thought, then said. "Did you want to go?"

Now that Alison was freshly showered, Emily got a good look at the part of her that wasn't dressing up for everyone else to see. Emily saw the bags under her eyes that she'd been successfully been trying to hide with makeup until now. She saw how sunken her eyes were without the eyeliner to make it look it more alive. She saw how pale Alison was, how thin she looked in Emily's shirt. Ali was slowly wearing herself out, and Emily didn't know if Alison even knew it.

Deciding to put aside her qualms about being there for the moment, she shook her, standing. "I'll make us dinner. In exchange for the clothes," she added, feeling it was necessary. Maybe it would be ok if she wasn't doing this as a favor to Alison, make this all seem transactional and not at all emotional. Maybe she wouldn't feel as if all the effort she had put into make herself stronger would be futile when she was around Alison again.

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Alison sat as Emily bustled around the kitchen. "You didn't have to cook, Em."

Emily looked up at Alison, spatula in hand. The serious expression on her face didn't match the light remark Ali gave. It looked Emily didn't want to go for small talk that night.

Emily's reply confirmed Ali's thoughts. "Why do you turn on all you lights, Alison?"

The girl in question ducked her head, not wanting to talk about it. The third night after the theater incident, Alison had tried to go through the night with the lights off downstairs. It was the only time she'd gotten through the whole evening awake without any kind of effort from herself. She had been terrified, and she'd nearly ran out of her room as she frantically turned on all the lights at three in the morning.

Alison shrugged, looking up again. Emily waited for some kind of continuation from that half-assed way of answering her question, and whens he didn't get anything, she sighed. "Ali, I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you."

"You don't have to be," Alison answered quickly, not wanting to go through this now. It was taking everything in her to just be ok while around Emily so late at night. She wanted to collapse in her bed and be by herself. She was drained. She didn't have anything left in her to lie or make up stories.

"But we are." It felt safer to include the concern of the other girls while Emily tried to explain. She didn't want to be too invested in Alison. Not again. Not yet. "You look tired, and-"

"You're just not used to seeing me at home, ok? Fine, I'm a little tired, and it's maybe a little too difficult to go through each day. But can you blame me?" Alison's voice rose as she spoke. Her nerves were fried. She needed to be alone now.

"But we're here. We're your friends. If you'd just open up a little-"

"Stop saying 'we', Emily! I know they don't care! Hanna looks like she'd rather be anywhere else whenever we have lunch. Spencer always looks at me like I'm some kind of thing to solve. And Aria, at least Aria has the decency to look a little concerned. But we all know she'd rather not be. You'd all rather not be," she added in the end, her voice suddenly quiet. She suddenly realized that she'd said too much, her feelings spilling out and over the brim. She stood. "Leave the dishes and put that in the fridge. I'll eat it in the morning."

She turned, ready to go upstairs, when she heard the clang of the pan on the stove, before she felt the hand on her arm. "Emily, don't-"

And then she was in Emily's arms, the taller girl's scent suddenly surrounding her. The faint smell of the rain outside was still on Emily's hair, and it made everything seem more real, more stark against the the bland days she had been having alone in the house. It was like a spark of something that made everything seem a lot more bearable, and Alison was afraid to receive it, to hang on to it. She didn't think she would be able to handle Emily getting close, but not too close.

"Don't push me away," Emily whispered. She didn't know what came over her, but seeing Alison, the old one, the one who ordered people around to grant her every whim had snapped her. She'd seen the other side of her earlier, the one who spoke her heart, the one who'd blushed when she admitted to missing Emily. Emily wanted that Alison to resurface again. She didn't want Alison to slip back into her old self. She didn't want Ali to feel the need to put up a wall again.

Alison didn't return the hug. "I'm not the only one pushing." She felt Emily's arms tighten even more around her at her words. And Alison pursed her lips, not wanting to be sucked into this warmth that was Emily and her concern, and her care and the comfort that would make her feel like she had to be dependent on someone else to even go through the day. She was doing just fine on her own, she tried to convince herself, even as as her hands lifted of their own accord to place themselves lightly over Emily's shoulders. Then she was hugging Emily back just as tightly, and she willingly buried her face into Emily's neck, teeth clenching to stop the tears that wanted to break free. She'd been crying a lot and she hated it.

It was Emily who pulled away, but not completely. Just enough so their arms were still around each other. When she pulled away completely, her hand slid to Alison's and Emily led her towards where she had been sitting. "You'll eat." Emily prepared her meal and slid Alison a plate, bringing a plate for herself, too. She waited until Alison took the first bite before eating herself. When they were done, she took care of the dishes, before taking Alison's hand again and leading her to her bedroom.

A/N: More Emison in the next chapter. Sorry this is slow. But there are a lot of feelings that need to be addressed. Please comment. T.T I don't know what you guys think about all this.