Someone sits down beside me, "He didn't want you to cry."

"I know." I said

"Willow, it's been three years, it's time to let go."

"I can't."

"Nolan even said so in the letter, he tells you to live your life."

"How do you know?" I give her a look

"Hey, it's me, I know everything."

"Ma." I give her a look.

"Fine, Helen told me." She raise her hand in defeat.

"Why are you even here?"

"To visit a good friend of mine." Ma said, pointing at the tomb on the other side of the cemetery.

"Who?" I ask

"Come, then you'll see."

We walk to the other side, and stop in front of a tomb that has the name Sarah Underwood on it. A single Lily was put in front of it.

"Hey twit, this is my third born Willow." Ma smile, "Life without you Sometimes sucks, but it's life, and let me tell you, you're life is way better because you don't get to lose us, we get to lose you, remember to come visit me sometime in my dream, you haven't visit me much, when I see you next time, you're getting your but kick."

"Hey." Uncle Kyle and Aunt Bee appears behind us.

"What are you doing here." Ma mock me earlier, and I shot her a glare

"To visit Nolan and Sarah." Uncle Kyle said, "What else."

"Hey Guys, what's up." Aunt Faith asks as she shows up with Uncle Jacky and Aunt Rose.

"Just Willow meeting Sarah for the first time." Ma said

"Is it why you guys deal with grief so well?" I asks, "because you guys already been through one."

"Not really." Aunt Faith said.

"Willow, Back in our uni days, Kyle and Sarah are like this perfect couple." Aunt Rose said, "Before they broke up, we always thought they're destined to end up together, but the truth isn't that, they broke up and the next time we hear from her, she's halfway dead. Then one day she left us, we all thought your Uncle Kyle can never get laid ever again in his life. Then your Aunt Bee comes, now he's what he is."

"There are people that are meant to be, but there are also people that aren't meant to be, for you, Nolan was someone important, but you two were never meant for each other. Just like Kyle and Sarah." Uncle Jacky said

"Really guys?" Uncle Kyle give all of them a look, "Talk about the days when I screw up, nice job."

"You're welcome," Ma said, "Will, pain will go away eventually, but remember he's gone, and remember that he'll support you no matter what."

"I know."

-

I sit in front of my desk, doing nothing.

"Will." Bella said, "Ma and Helen are playing switch, are you coming?"

"Count me out," I said.

"Okay." She said, a bit sad.

I stare at the empty wall, I know I have to move on, but why can't I?

There's a part of me that refuse to give him up.

A part of me still love him no matter what.

Okay, that's a lie

The whole me still loves him and I know I'll say the same thing even if 1000 years pass.

-

For the following weeks, I've been working in the bakery, Helen is being Ma's intern, it's two days from Lia's wedding, the bride and the groom are very happy, tonight me have the rehearsal dinner, the only thing not so good about it is Eric's parents are also coming.

Even though it's been four years since they kick Eddy out, it's still a sore subject for him.

If Nolan's here, he can make everything better.

"Willow." Someone waves his hand in front of me.

"Sorry, I zone out."

"No problem." Joey shrugs, "I said I want a cheese cake."

"Okay." I hand him the box

"Still thinking about Nolan?" He asks

"That obvious?" I ask

"Yeah, beside you don't think much about other stuff beside him."

"I just missed him."

"Me too, Will, me too." He gives me a hug, "We all do."

-

The next day after the rehearsal dinner, is Lia's bachelorette party.

Wait, you want to hear about the rehearsal dinner? I can't tell you that, even just think about it makes me uncomfortable.

Let's say we're lucky the hall is still in one piece. I serious thought the hall was going to explode.

"Willow." Lia said, "We're here."

We arrive at a strip club, is it a tradition that every bachelorette has to come to a strip club? I don't like one.

"You better not have a bachelorette party with strippers." I whisper to Helen,

"Not even thinking about it."

-

Everyone just have fun, drinking, and dancing with naked guys, Helen isn't a fan of it, but she goes for it after Lia drag her to the dance floor.

I just sit on the couch, and can't wait to go home, I'm not a sour puss, and I didn't mean to be one, but I just miss him.

I know people will get drunk just to see the person they always want. I'm not going to do that, because in the morning when I wake up without him, it's the pain I don't want to feel ever again.

I have both of Nolan's letter with me all the time, I never want to lose them because that's what I have left of him.

"Willow! Come dance!" Lia shouts

"No thanks, I'm good." I said

"Willow!" Helen shouts, "Come on!"

"No!"

"Fine, you're no fun." Lia said

"Sorry Lia, I think I pass the phase where I can be fun." I smile apologetic.

"Nah, you're just two years older than me, you can have fun, there no law saying you have to be grieving for big bro ever second of your life." Ruby said as she drags me into the dance floor.

Maybe just tonight, I'll dance and forget about Nolan, I'll dance until I can't anymore.

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