Love, Loss and Living

Promises Part 9

A Few Weeks Later

Bette stared out the window of the plane as it taxied down the runway to line up to take off.

"Is there anything else I can get you before we take off," the flight attendant asked smiling.

"Some Orange Juice would be nice, and when are we expected to land at LaGuarida?" Bette inquired, not really paying attention to the answer.

"Around 4p New York time. Ms. Peabody will have her limousine waiting for you."

"Thank you," Bette said without looking up from the window.

Bette was on her way to a meeting with Helena and Peggy. Bette had contacted Helena in London in an attempt to find out what was going on, but she was at a lose as well about the summons from her mother. Both, Helena and Bette could have spoken to Peggy via Skype but they seemed to understand that being in person was the better way to manage this meeting. Bette for herself just wanted to get out of Los Angeles. As much as she kept reassuring Angie things would be okay, and the attempted indifference she showed to her friends, the reality was Bette was not ready to deal with Tina and her new partner. Shane had told her that she had been in contact with Tina.  She said that Tina and Carrie would be arriving in Los Angeles a week after Angie got out out of school. Angie had told Shane about the Summer Camp program in July she would be attending, but Bette would be home by then. Bette felt the two week Summer Program in San Francisco would be good for Angie; a planned break from all the drama that was sure to play out. Bette had become increasingly concerned about Angie.  She was clearly not herself and based on what Shane had said, Angie is struggling more than she let on.   

Bette took a slow drink of her Orange Juice, continuing to sort out things, trying to find a sense of control over what was going on around her.  Alice's fundraiser had been scheduled for the 2nd Saturday in June and Bette was determined to honor her promise.  She didn't know if she had the emotional and physical strength to be on for the type of performance she surely would need to meet Alice's expectations, but she would show up.

Bette sighed, how did her life get so complicated? When did everything go so wrong? Bette for the millionth time sorted through her memories trying to put a finger on when she lost touch with Tina. So much had been going on when they moved to New York. The selling of the house took longer than expected. They got a lower price than they were asking due to Jenny's death in the pool.  They took it because they just wanted out of that mess. Tina went ahead and took care of things in New York and started her new job. Bette stayed back with Angie to wrap up their life in Los Angeles. Alice, Kit and Shane were having a hard time with their decision to move to New York, but ultimately Tina and Bette felt it was for the best. On reflection, Bette could recall a change in Tina that she noticed when Bette and Angie finally arrived in New York. It was subtle, but something was there now that she put more focus on the situation. Their life launched quickly. Tina and Bette found themselves thrusted into meetings and obligations, but they would always make time for family and for connecting with each other. Bette smiled as she recalled some of the unplanned romantic sexual encounters. Tina would come home with reservations to a posh restaurant and then unexpectedly produce a key to a hotel suite. Bette smiled at the number of times Tina would slowly walk out of the hotel trying to cover up the difficulty she was having due to the soreness that resulted from a night of physical acrobatics with Bette. Their love making always filled their buckets, and both had a sixth sense on the needs of the other, often before knowing it themselves.  It was this closeness, this secret language that they had between them that Bette relied on, leaned on and missed the most when Tina left. Bette had resigned that she would never have this again. The thought of giving her heart to a another was too upsetting. This level of intimacy is only shared once in Bette's eyes.  Losing it was too painful, the price of this closeness was high.  It consumed her and being able to define herself separate from the relationship was hard.  It would have been so easy to give up everything and compromise to such an extent that it becomes difficult to distinguish where one ends and other begins.  Bette never had a problem with setting boundaries but Tina clearly fell into that trap.  Bette was confident in who she was, where she wanted to be and her role in the relationship.  But, trying to decipher the emotions of others as well as express her own was a skill that had always eluded her, she had thought she had gotten better at with Tina's help.