You Should Know (BWWM) ✅

Chapter Thirty-Two

ELOWEN

"So this is it?" Philip folded the paper up and put it back in his pocket once Elowen was finished reading off it. "You're really leaving, Philip."

He shrugged while wiping his eyes before tears could fall. "I guess. There isn't much I can do from this point. I tried everything we planned. They didn't give me the fucking test! If I would have just failed that test."

Elowen almost fell over although she was already sitting on the ground. "They didn't give you the test?!" Philip tried to brush past it since this was their last week together.

On the eleventh of April, Philip will be on his way to a training camp for one month before being sent to fight on Vietnamese soil. Very little was known about the time frame of his training to the transition to an entirely new country, but Elowen only hoped that he didn't fall in love with another woman. Her mind was telling her that she'd never do it to him, so how on earth would he do it to her.

"Philip, this is serious. They distribute these tests to make sure you're mentally stable to carry a weapon or even handle something as simple as being on a plane. The fact that they didn't give you one is basically illegal."

He scoffed. "Since when does the government get punished for doing anything illegal?"

She gave up trying to argue with him. He was a lost cause especially since he was officially going off to war. The look on Philip's face proved that he was helpless. Elowen only wanted to cry for him but it'd do nothing.

"Can we just enjoy these moments together, please?" He tossed a pebble as far into the lake as he could. Elowen stared at the side of his face as if it was telling her something. Her eyes digging into his skin caused him to face her with a smile on his face. "Can I see the baby?"

"I'd have to pull up my entire dress-"

"Come on. I've seen it all before." He jokingly tried to lift her dress up but she slapped his hand with all seriousness. He yanked his hand back in shock as he saw the frown on her face. "Cool it, Elowen. I was just playing."

She wrapped her hands around her arms and hugged herself. "I don't think you should play like that anymore. Maybe a little more respect." He rolled his eyes at her as if he couldn't believe she was being serious. "What if it's a girl. Do you really want her thinking her dad was a sleaze?"

"What? You're taking it too far, Elowen. Assuming the gender like you're a psychic?" Philip stood up to avoid this conversation.

Elowen watched his body movement as the topic of the gender of the baby was fresh on his mind. She scowled when she realized exactly what he was thinking. This caused her to stand up and follow him as he paced across the ground where the gravel met the water. "You don't want it to be a girl."

His eyes jolted to her as if he was caught stealing. "What- I... why would you say that? If it's a boy or a girl, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that whatever it is, it's mine." Those words only made this conversation worse. "And I am not saying it isn't. You know what I mean!"

"Okay, Harry." Elowen shrugged as Philip stopped pacing.

"Don't ever call me that." His voice was stern and deep but it didn't scare Elowen. She would have said it again if more important things weren't on her mind. "If that wasn't what you meant then why are you thinking about it so hard."

He looked up at the sky in disbelief. As if God was punishing him yet again and he was on the verge of breaking. "There are a million other things I have to think about." Elowen was about to open her mouth to argue but Philip grabbed her by her arm and forced her to the path that led to the car. "I'm not going to go back and forth with you. I actually wanted to sleep but instead, here I am arguing with you about having a boy or a girl. It's childish."

"Childish? It wasn't that long ago that you wanted to spray paint cars and hump anything that moves. Now that's childish." Philip ignored her and continued to rush quickly to get her home. "You think we're not going to talk about this but you have another thing coming, Philip Hill."

He released her hand the second his car came to view. Elowen tried to keep up with him but he was full-on running just to unlocked it. "Get in the car and take a chill pill!" She frowned at him but listened. She didn't want to risk losing her only ride home.

The second she got in, she felt around the backseat for her purse to see if she had spare change for food. She was too angry at Philip to ask him to buy her anything. She had an urge she might throw it out the window.

Blindly patting the backseat, she landed on a piece of paper and for a split second, she figured it was trash and brought it to the front to make sure and throw it out. Before she could crumble it up, the words Philip Hill and Comprehensive Psychiatric Evaluation were written on it clear as day. She didn't want to read it, but she had to. 

"What is this?" She waved around the second page of the letter the moment Philip stopped shining his car and actually got in. The letter showed the results of his Psychiatric Evaluation and Cognitive Testing; he passed both. "Philip, you said you didn't take it. Why would you lie? That's a high fucking score!"

Philip snatched the paper from her hands and threw it in the backseat where it didn't belong. "I couldn't do it, Elo. He would have known that I tried to fail it." He attempted to avoid eye contact and hope she would sweep it under the rug. The old Elowen would have, but he knew better now.

She reached to retrieve the paper but he snatched her arm back. "Don't you touch me!" She pointed at his face.

"Elowen! Chill out and listen to me! He would have known and he would've killed me if he found out! It's easy! The whole thing is like counting to one hundred!" Her chest rose and fell as anger took over her body. "He took it himself, my old man. When I was a kid, he and my Uncle Rick went to make a career out of the thing while we stayed with my grandpa. My old man didn't pass the mental evaluation, but he knows my state. He knows I would have been able to make it. He ain't dumb, Elowen."

The heat boiling around in her brain caused her to act on it. Before she could tell herself to stop, she was hitting Philip where ever she could. He grabbed her wrist within the first two throws in order to contain her. The one thing he couldn't stop was the harsh words he called her and the tears flying from her eyes.

"I hate you!" She shouted as she tried to free her hands. "I fucking hate you, Philip! I want you to die knowing it! I want you to suffer like you're forcing all of us to do!"

This only made him angry instead of upset. The feeling caused him to release her. He then pushed her hard enough that her head hit the window. "You know and fuck you too! We're kids, Elowen! What the hell choice do I have? None! I have no fucking choice!" She rubbed the back of her head in fear. His finger was in her face as he released everything he's been wanting to say. "It was my love for you that I didn't even mention getting rid of that baby! God knows I would have been quick to pay for it!"

Their words stung each other, but Elowen was the only one hurt enough to walk away from it in order to avoid hearing anything else. She looked at Philip as if he was a murderer as she opened the car door. He watched her stumble out onto her hands and knees; the back of her head still throbbing. Philip immediately got out and slammed his door before walking around to help her.

"Oh, wow! You're going to run away the second I speak to you in the same disrespectful tone? Well, crawl home Elowen. I don't want to see you ever again because you don't understand and apparently you hate me. I have never told you that I hate you. Never!"

"Shut up, Philip." She muttered while dusting off her dress. He watched her wobble away while rubbing her stomach. She was obviously light-headed. 

The further she got, the more she could hear his feet getting closer and closer. She figured he was having some sort of attack but she didn't care. She'd walk the miles just to get away from him.

"Now, Elowen. It's bad for the baby for you to have too much exercise. I read it in a book somewhere." She brushed him off no matter how loud his voice was. "Please, Elowen. Please. Just get in the car, please." She turned to face him and saw the creases of worry on his forehead. "Just, please... I'm sorry."