I Don't Think I Regret it

Emotional R&R

Ai did not see Kenma and Kuroo the next day. In fact, she slept straight through her alarm and Kuroo's pounding on the door and managed to sleep until noon the next day. Really, it was her own fault for staying up late and eating sweets. She had helped herself to a glass of wine but it ended up making her less sleepy than she was before.  She checked her phone, three missed calls from Kuroo, a facetime call from Kuroo, and a text from Bokuto that said "Sorry about your breakup, bro." 

She got up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Ai saw no point in going to school that late in the day. She went through her closet and pulled out a white tank top, a denim skirt, and a pastel yellow cardigan. She brushed out her hair, brushed her teeth, dressed herself, and washed her face. Ai didn't bother with makeup, too much of a hassle. Ai slipped her house key and her debit card into her front pocket. She grabbed her phone and slipped on a pair of white sneakers before exiting her apartment.

Ai ventured out to the street, unsure of how to spend her free time. It felt weird to her, having nowhere to go and nothing to do. For the first time in a month since she moved to Tokyo, Ai felt calm. It was unnerving. The corners of her mouth curled downwards. It felt like she was wading through molasses. Everything was silent and slow.

She trudged to the convenience store and moped around. She picked out some different flavored rice balls and a bottle of tea. She paid for her breakfast and wandered around. She passed the school, looking up at the windows filled with other kids her age studying.  Ai kept walking.

She arrived at the park where she and Reo had broken up. Ai sat on the same bench as yesterday and ate her breakfast. The midday sun was strong and hot. She wiped her brow with the sleeve of her cardigan. She opened up a tuna rice ball and chewed it slowly. She watched the birds peck at the dirt. She pinched her rice ball and scattered rice at her feet. The pigeons came over to her.

She had once heard a rumor that feeding birds rice would make them explode. Ai didn't know how true that rumor was. True or not, she figured cooked rice would be fine. The pigeons cooed at her shoes, gratefully picking at the grains tossed on the ground.

Ai unscrewed the cap of her tea and took a long drink. It was such a hot day. She finished the rest of her tuna rice ball and began to weave her long black hair into a braid. She wrapped a hair elastic at the end and let her braid rest over her shoulder. The pigeons still pecked at the ground, though they had eaten all of the rice. She opened her other riceball and reflected on how quickly her relationship ended yesterday.

She wasn't as upset as she had been before. After cooling down, she remembered why she broke up with him in the first place. It wasn't her fault, not really, she suppposed. It sure as hell wasn't Reo's fault. Ai felt a little bitter, but that was better than feeling nothing at all. Reo wasn't her boyfriend, but he was someone she was close to, and would have gotten even closer to if she let herself. His soft brown hair, his reflective brown eyes, his adorable laughter. She frowned mournfully before standing up. She finished her tea and threw her garbage into the nearest trash bin. Maybe tomorrow she would feel better.

She didn't know what Reo was going through, but she figured that what she was feeling at the moment was a small price to pay in comparison to what Reo must have been feeling.

Ai came to school to get the work she missed. She felt weird, being at school without her uniform. She pulled her cardigan closer around her, carrying two worksheets. She would have to ask one of the girls in class for notes that she missed. She looked out the windows that lined the hallway. The courtyard was empty, she guessed everybody was in club still.

She could casually peep in the gym where volleyball practice was, but that wouldn't exactly be very casual considering the gym was nowhere near any of her classes or the entrance of the school. Still, Ai felt restless, she didn't realize how entertaining it was to watch that group of dorks play volleyball until she missed it.  She hadn't made up her mind yet, but her feet were carrying her downstairs. Ai changed her shoes and continued to the gym.