Kissing the actress (womanxwoman)

Chapter 10, Talks

It was Wednesday already, what meant I really had to work hard, two days long, and concentrate! I went to my office very early, and luckily, I was able to concentrate the whole morning, until I heard the lovely fingers tapping on my door. I opened it, and saw Sandra; Thelma was not with her.

"Is Thelma free?"

"Only this morning. She'll begin after lunch."

"Okay." Great, I could enjoy another meal alone with mijn liefste!

After we had bought our lunch, we sat down, facing each other of course.

"How's your writing going?"

"I need to work hard! Luckily, I was free of a writers block this morning. How's the shooting going?"

"Well! Tomorrow and Friday, we're shooting outside."

"Is that every week, the last two days outside?"

Sandra laughed. "That depends on you and your colleagues of course!"

Hm, yeah, that was a silly question. "Eh, yeah. But I only write the dialogues."

"Okay, but you go to the writers' meetings."

"You're right."

Sandra looked at me thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked her.

She shocked me with her answer. "Tell me something about the relationships you had."

Oh no, not that subject again!

"Oh, there's really not much to tell. I had 4, never with a big love, and they all brought mainly trouble." I had told that before. "How many have you had?" I didn't want to know, but I had to try a diversion.

"I had 7. Was the sex good?"

"How do I know if you had good sex with your ex's?" I knew it was silly to deliberately misunderstand her, but I didn't want to talk about this!

Sandra sighed. "You know what I meant. I wanna talk about you, Jos! You are the one who has been single for ten years! And you're so nice! Sweet, pretty, smart, you have a great sense of humor... and I can name much more things! You're a little shy, but that only makes you cuter. Why the hell don't you have a sweet, handsome guy at your side?"

Because I don't want a guy! But I couldn't tell her that.

"I've told you before, I didn't have much luck in love."

"So, you just you gave up?"

"I was happy being single." I realized that I was no longer able to say this in the present tense.

"It's a waste. Your heart is warm and loving. You deserve love; and a very lucky guy, who is as warm and loving as you are, deserves your love."

I didn't answer, very happy she thought my heart was warm and loving, but how could I tell her the truth? I didn't deserve her, and I would never get her, but for more than a year, my heart belonged to her. I gave her a tiny piece of my love, as much as I dared to give. But I wanted to give so much more love to her, and receive so much more love from her! And no other woman could replace her. I loved Sandra dearly, and it was almost unbelievable, but my love still grew every day.

"What if you'd fall in love, and he's free and falls in love with you, would you reject him?"

Verdorie, that talking about guys and he's!

"No. I would not reject that person." If Sandra would fall in love with me? I shivered with excitement at the mere thought.

"Oh, you wouldn't?"