"Good Luck!" Wasn't Supposed To Mean Forever.(Niall Horan) -Completed

Chapter 31. The Missing bits and Pieces...

Chapter 31. The Missing bits and Pieces…

2 months later 

“Sarah, Please” I spoke sadly into the phone. 

“No, you held this from me for about a year and NOW you want everything to be just forgotten?” She yelled back. I pulled my phone away from my ear and took a deep breath. 

“No, I didn’t expect everything to be okay Sarah. I was just scared to tell you. I didn’t want things to end.” I sat down on a speaker box behind me. I told Sarah everything, on the phone and not even in person. I told her about Ben and Delilah, I told her how he died and just let it all come out of me. I was holding it in so long I guess it just had to come out some time. I suppose that me being on tour again didn’t help either. I had to leave around a month after the crash, she was on crutches and didn’t necessarily need my help anymore, I was told I HAD to go too, other wise I would of been in massive trouble.  Sarah was scheduled to be off her crutches in a couple of days after anyways so I think she was alright. Christmas went by, and it was amazing. It was now creeping in late February and she was back at school. I took another needed sigh and waited for her voice to be heard through the other end. 

“Niall, you don’t understand. That was something you should of told me before we started Dating. I just don’t know anymore. I’m sorry you felt that you couldn’t tell me that kind of shit because that’s something you share with your true love, everything Niall. Everything. You also told me you were a virgin, so you lied about that too, wow. I can’t believe you. Niall, I don’t even know what to say right now.” Her voice was almost in a whisper, I knew what that meant, she was crying. I pictured her laying on her bed mascara running down her cheeks, and clutching a pillow. My heart broke, it was indescribably terrible. My eyes watered and I wanted to pretty much throw up, right then and there. 

“Sarah, I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I did this, I can’t take it, I am so sorry. don’t do this, You are the love of my life Sarah. I can’t express that enough. Im begging you forgive me, I’m incredibly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I love you.” I clutched the phone praying she would say the words right back to me just like old times.

“I can’t do this anymore, your going to have to prove it. Niall, lets take…a….” she was in full sobs by now and took her awile to say the last words.” “A break.” She was heartbroken and I had caused it. Me. Niall. The Jack Ass. The Dick. The Stupid Ass. The Bastard. The king of all fuck ups. Wow. I couldn’t even talk. I was so damn speechless. I wiped my face of all my tears. I gained words, finally letting them come to my lips in despair. 

“Sarah, please. I’m sorry.” I croaked.

“It’s for the best Nialler. I will always love you” She stated, her sobs more controlled. 

I lost it. It was my turn to feel the heart, I busted out in a loud cry, I looked at the phone and she went dead. She hung up.  

“NOOO…” I hollered “It’s not over!” I screamed and threw my phone on the ground. I bolted outside of the back entrance and started running. Running away. Going into  abandonment, leaving all my problems. 

“Niall! Where are you going? Get back here! WE HAVE A SHOW!“ I think I made out Zayn’s voice behind me but I could of cared less. I kept venturing away from the arena. I finally reached the station, I got on any train car and just sat there. With a few elderly women staring at my awkwardly with my tears still streaming freshly down my cheeks I gave them a weak smile. I tried sobering up from my deplorable cry but that just made me really uncomfortable. I pulled my self together solemnly and just sat there, staring out the window. I watched the sunset fade into darkness and slowly but surly calmed myself down.  I was on the train to home. Mullingar. Where everything started. Me, Sarah, our first kiss, and my whole life. I wanted my original life back, nothing more could of pulled me away from the arena more than this. I just wanted to be home. My life. It’s not like Sarah is there, but that’s where she was, not New York. She was not at some fancy schamcy school then, she wasn’t getting drowned in homework she was just the Sarah I grew up with. I wanted her so bad, but I couldn’t. It was fucking over. Done. Nonexistent. Demolished. Forever gone. I let the tears shed and hoped it was all going to be alright. 

--

Sarah’s POV.

It has been about 3 months since Niall and I. I still think about him often and wonder if he ever thinks about me. He still texts me once and awhile “seeing what I am up too”. I smile and just tell him, same’o same’o, homework and more homework. 

I hang out with Kota a lot more than I used too, I broke through the “Awkward Shell” and now were great friends. Some how with everything being with the way it is, it’s less stressful. I can’t say I’m completely over Niall, or 100% forgive him, but I can say, I do miss him. A lot. I think about him several times a day, sent hundreds of draft messaged to him, explain why I want to get back with him and how much I actually love him, but you know I never send them Just forever stored in my phone. Sort of like my feelings about him. No one knows, just me. I am kind of like a secret holder, I told lots of secrets but just way more of my own that I actually hold. My roommates tell me everything, so that adds to the pile of secrets, not to mention countless Niall secrets too. Speaking of roommates, Rose and Harry ended up staying through with their relationship, exciting I know. I just got the email that they are having a baby! I can’t believe it myself. Harry is going to be a great Dad, I am sure of it. And of course Rose will be a magnificent Mother. The baby shower is the 18th of April, and I’m headed out to England for that as well, but that also means coming into contact with Niall again. Who am I fooling? I seriously do want to see him, but I’m just nervous and skittish, you know? Like were meeting for the first time all over again. I pulled out the picture in a box underneath my bed that I banned myself from looking at. I glided my finger across the top of the show box. 

It Read. 

“Sarah and Nialler’s Box. 1991-?

Forever in love” 

I let a small tear drop crash onto the box from my eyes. I squeezed my eyes tight forbidden anymore to come through. I opend them regained my strength and opened the box. It had pictures and little friendship things from when we were kids till around 3 months ago. I pulled out a picture from the bottom and studied it, it was at the aquarium, one of our first dates. I made a weird face and he just kissed my cheek. We looked so happy. Perfection in a way. We were our everything. Missed it. I closed the box from awhile of searching things to find and make me feel closer to him at the moment. I laid back down on my bed and just sighed. It’s not over, I thought. Its not. We still love each other. I grabbed a pencil and paper and began writing a poem that I planned on giving to him the first time I see him again. I began writing the words directly from my heart spilling them into rhythm on line by line. My heart bleeding for his love, eternity within it’s self. Promising me he will be waiting for me. 

For You and Only you. 

You held my heart, you still do.

Your forever keeping it beating. 

I still think about you.

Your still creating it’s song.

I plan to see you soon. 

But forever shall my heart Long…..   

 _______________________________________________________

Read the next note for more INFOO. 

-Emmy :):)