TIFITY

I'll wait for you

It felt as if a bullet had been shot directly into my soul. I refused to believe anything at first, but then I realized that it was happening. I knew that Evangeline wasn't okay and that she looked unhealthily skinny, but I could never have imagined things were that serious. That was the moment I noticed the number of details I had missed the past months; when she refused to eat cake on her birthday or when she didn't come for dinner to my house the last few Fridays, although she hadn't missed any since we met. I couldn't help but blame myself for not noticing these details and helping her out before the situation got worse. I felt like the worst friend ever, but I wasn't the one suffering the most at that moment.

"I'm scared Alexis, I don't know how I let it go this far. I lost control..." she said. "I wish I could do more than listen, but I want you to know that you are not alone Ev. I'll stand by your side" I continued. She broke into tears while hugging me again and I can't deny my heart was breaking, even more, every second that passed by. I couldn't see her suffer that much when the only thing she deserved was to be the happiest person in the whole world. Nobody deserves to feel that worthless and such a monster, nor did Evangeline. "I'm so sorry for everything Al" she apologized again. "Listen to me", I said with a serious tone. "I know things are so hard for you right now, and that you're extra tired of hearing clichés about things magically getting better in a matter of days. I know you'd like to explain yourself and the reason why you did what you did, but I know you aren't ready, and that's okay. I'm here for you and I'll also be whenever you feel like opening up about it. There's no need to hurry". Evangeline told me she would leave soon and that she didn't know how many days she'd be isolated, to what I replied: "no matter if it takes you one day, two weeks or three months. The most important thing is that you get better, and if they can help you, I'll wait as much as needed. I'll wait for you Ev". 

*****

I had no clue how much time it would pass until I'd get to see her again once she left. We only had three days before she was taken into the psychiatric, so I promised myself I would make the most out of them for her, no matter what. I couldn't think of anything better than spending as much time as possible with her, so I told her again about organizing the pyjama party with just the two of us, but without popcorn and Oreos this time. I could tell she felt insecure at first because of the food, but I convinced her to come in the end.

We met on April 17th, just as planned. We were going to do the pyjama party at my house so I just had to wait for Evangeline to arrive. We talked about watching a couple of films after building a fort using blankets and as many sofa cushions as we could. We thought of around five movies to watch, but we just had time for two or three. "How about we watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then Monsters Inc. before going to bed?" I asked. I knew she loved both films, so I was sure she would agree even before asking. The only purpose of that pyjama party was to make her feel comfortable and great before she was taken away for two months and a half, and so it was when it came to the other plans we did

She came to my house right after dinner time. I was sure that was to avoid having anything, but I didn't even ask her, thinking that would make her sad, apart from ruining the rest of the night. I knew she was worried about me eating something while we were watching the movies, so before her mind could play with her I went: "I prepared your favourite tea, without any sugar, of course. How about we both have a cup each?". Her face expression changed in a matter of seconds. She looked more relaxed after I told her that. She just said: "Thank you, Al. Thank you so much for understanding". 

I served the tea in two cups, both with a rainbow drawn on them. Yes, Evangeline came so many times that she already had her cup. Once I had served the hot tea, I took both cups and went to the living room where my friend was waiting for me. After giving her the rainbow drink (as I liked to call it), I just went: "it's time for the movies!!". I guess I was hoping to make her smile, even if it was for a single second. She laughed, so it was a win. Then we snuggled in the fort we had just built, and the truth is that it was pretty warm and comfortable behind the blankets.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was the first one I played, just as we planned. We spent the whole movie laughing and singing the songs until the witch appeared. That woman was scary, and although I was the eldest out of us, Evangeline didn't even flinch. "Oh my stay away from me!!", I exclaimed. I still laugh every time I remember that moment. Evangeline seemed so calm that it looked as if she was okay again. I wished for that feeling to last at least the rest of the night. When Monsters Inc.'s turn came, we were so sleepy, but we held on until the very end. Or better said; I did. Right when the film was ending, we both got emotional and exchanged some meaningful words just both of us could have understood. "Thank you for being my James Sullivan Alexis, I love you", she said right before falling asleep. "Thank you for being my Boo Ev, I love you more".