TIFITY

Caramel macchiato

It was April, the month that Evangeline and I had long waited for. We had planned lots of things to do during the Easter school break and we were looking so forward to completing our list. We wanted to spend as much time as possible together. I guess that was because we felt great whenever we hanged out or spent hours texting. At the same time, our situations at home weren't at their best, so we would rather stay outside. 

Evangeline's parents had had a huge argument some days before. They were so mad that her father just left and went to her grandma's house. His daughter felt so sad about the possibility of her parents divorcing any day. She told me she wanted to leave home for as long as possible, and I, of course, was up to that. At that time, my family's situation wasn't the best either, with my abusive father and drunk brother always around. My mum was desperate for the whole thing happening and my grades falling. She would call me a disgrace and, just as Evangeline, I needed to get out of my house. That's why I came up with the idea of writing down a list of things to do, so we could disconnect and think about something else for a bit.

Evangeline would always seem happy and okay in front of me, in order not to make me sad or something, I guess. But that meant she never shared her problems with me. I thought she didn't trust me at first, but when I realized she did, I promised myself I would find out a way for her to feel like sharing her real feelings with me instead of hiding them. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't my intention to invade her privacy, I just wanted to help her out.

*****

Going on a walk to the new park around the corner of the train station was among our plans. It was a sunny day, but I could tell it was going to rain in any second. Evangeline and I met in a cafeteria next to my house, as we talked about having something before going for the walk. It had been a whole month since I last saw Evangeline, as both of us had had these final exams to study for. I was so excited to see her again after so long, and I couldn't wait to tell her about the ideas I had come up with for our list. However, all that excitement disappeared when I saw her skeletal body walking towards me. Yes, she had always been skinny, but her appearance was of a sick person. I swear I could tell something was behind her smile.

"Hey, are you okay?" was the first thing I asked her the second she arrived. "Yeah, why?" she answered, to my surprise. "Because I see you skinnier every time we meet and I've started to worry" I continued with no intention of being annoying. She told me not to worry, that she was seriously alright, but as her friend, I could not just ignore the fact that she wasn't. No matter how many times she said she was, I knew something was off, but I had no idea what it was.

The moment we entered the cafeteria, I asked her "what would you like to have?". "Oh, I don't want anything. I'm fine, thank you" she replied with a smile on her face. She refused to have anything, but I didn't realize how significant that refusal was at the time. If I had known what I know now back then, things would have turned out to be so different, or that's what I think. I continued to ask for my usual caramel macchiato with oreo toppings, which was our favourite. "Do you want some?" I asked, but she refused again. That was strange, we used to share one every time we went there. She denied everything I offered her to the point of me thinking she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Yeah, that ended up being my mind playing with me once again, but I felt bad this time as well. 

We sat down in our usual place and started talking about what we had thought of adding to the list. Evangeline told me she had nothing else in mind than going for that walk with me. That was the moment I realized she wanted to tell me about something serious. However, I continued to tell her about what I thought of doing together until I finished the macchiato. "I'd like to have a pyjama party with you someday" I explained, "We could watch our favourite Disney movies and eat popcorn and, of course, our favourite Oreos". Just after these words came out of my mind, it seemed as if her heart broke into a million pieces. Just as if the house of cards she lived in fell in a matter of seconds. By the time I realized she ran away crying from the cafeteria. I could not understand why she would do such thing all of a sudden...

I looked for her everywhere around. In the new park, the portal of my house, the square that was near there, the train station... I even took the train to her house in Liverpool just to ask her mum if she was there, but she indeed wasn't. I had no idea where else to look for her and I had started to feel nervous. It was getting dark and it had started raining. Evangeline had no umbrella, but nor did I. I didn't give a damn about the rain; I had to find my family friend. I couldn't help blaming myself for what had happened and I remember I couldn't stop crying. I thought that everything was my fault at that moment, that I shouldn't have made those questions... I was desperate to find her, and I had no intention of going home until I had done so.