Potter and Evans

Cancelling

After much thought Lily had decided to cancel Sunday with James.

Though it might have been great for building up a friendship, it felt that she was tearing down her walls to James too fast. Years of rejecting him cut down in what? A matter of weeks of being friends?  They were barely even friends! Hadn't he been practically ignoring her until Saturday? They hadn't even spoken to each other since then either - not to mention how he was probably in on the set up. Maybe that was why he hadn't been asking her out: he knew if he pretended to change Lily would give in. Then again...the argument between her and Marlene came back to her.

So in the middle of breakfast on Tuesday, Lily cleared her throat 'James?' she said to the boy who sat diagonally to her who was currently solemnly nodding as Remus spoke to him in low voice.

At the sound of the redhead's voice, James turned towards her, and she couldn't help but notice that his glasses were perched unevenly on the bridge on his nose and that, for the first time, she noticed that his eyes weren't green like she had always thought - they were hazel - and right now they were filled with oceans of curiosity. Lily wasn't to know this, but they were curious because she - Lily Evans - had just called him - James Potter -  'James' instead of 'Potter' and this could only mean one thing to James at the moment. They were about to have a serious conversation.

'Can I talk to you?'

A brief silence. He pushes his round glasses further onto his nose then brings his left hand up and ruffles his hair. He could get this over with quicker by just telling her he knows she wants to cancel Sunday, and he can save the last piece of his heart, except something tells him that he shouldn't: that it would only piss her off.

'Yeah.'

As they stand in an accidental synchronised movement and make towards the doors of the Great Hall together, Sirius dramatically exclaims 'Woah Evans is volenteerarily talking to James? What's going on? Next thing you know Peter's got a girlfriend.' Then he proceeds to wink at a small fourth year girl, whose eyes suddenly bulge out of their sockets in fear, while her friends budge closer to her on the bench acting as a shield against Peter as he messily tries to deny what Sirius has implied.

'Lily calling James by his first name you mean?' Remus added, intrigued as he suspiciously watched the pair leave.

Lily gave Sirius a quick glare as she walked and mentally screamed 'Thanks a lot!'.

James' POV
It seemed like everyone in the Great Hall had stopped eating and talking to stare at me and Lily as we exited the Great Hall. Maybe it's not the best time, but I have my precious reputation to maintain, so I cooly proclaim 'Finally decided you couldn't resist the sweet James Potter charm, eh Evans?' So that I'm sure everyone hears me.

It goes to plan too, because from the opposite side of the hall, a certain greasy haired boy catches my eye who looks completely torn between crying and chasing after us - as if he has a chance with Evans after what he called her though.

'You wish, Potter.' She quickly returns, equally as loud, obviously catching onto what I'm trying to do.

Once outside the Great Hall, we take a few turns before finding an empty classroom that seems fit to talk in. Evans abruptly stops by a desk at the front of the room and turns around, almost causing me to walk straight into her. 'Sorry.' I mutter, as I take a couple steps back.

'It's fine.' She says, then takes a deep breath before beginning her speech - I wouldn't be surprised if she uses the 'it's not you, it's me' trick.

'This is my fault because I should never have agreed to Sunday and I know we said it was as friends - because we are friends - but I don't think I'm ready to spend time with you alone yet. I know that sounds weird and it's not because I don't trust you or anything it's just that I feel like I'm forgetting the past 5 years too fast or that you're forgiving me too fast for what I said...' she pauses, she hasn't taken a breath during all of that and while she's catching her breath, her confidence suddenly comes tumbling down as she becomes unsure of herself and what she's saying. Her pace slows and she stresses each word as she says 'I said some really horrible things and I regret it so much and I wish I could go back and change what I said. I was just frustrated and angry and...merlin I feel so stupid right now...oh god please say something James.'