#1 Falling for the guy that hates me

31- Telling Him

Yes the song is the same song from the book dorm room 21.
It's called
These thoughts
It's sung by
AmberBayani
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As I entered, my room I opened the shopping bag and sat down by my desk. I made sure that my door was shut before opening the bag. Taking out each box one by one, I looked at its contents.

I had found the one I was looking for.

I was going to tell Ryan that I liked him.

It was almost Christmas, I would write it in a card. I would write it in a 'Christmas', card, it would be the first one, that I was ever given him. I got out a posted note, tracing a heart on it with a stencil, I then wrote my message.

'Hay stupid, I like you.'
On the back I wrote-
'Shhh don't tell anyone please'

Throughout out the week I had been trying to tell him. I learned how to say 'I like you in Turkish'. That was the only good part of my mission. Just a week before, I thought that I was over him; I didn't think that I was in an unfortunate situation.

Every time I had built up the nerve to just walk up to him and say, "I like you" he wasn't around. It was really frustrating; I had seen Ben and Jason about 21 times that whole week, but not Ryan, not once nothing! I knew I just knew that when I saw him, I would get shy and chicken out.

There had to be another method to tell him......Pen and paper. That's it! It had worked on previous crushes before, all I had to do was write it down, give it to him, then walk off. I always told them not to respond to the message, or what I'm about to tell them. I always do it via paper, or social media, or text. That way I don't get a response from them, I don't want to have to handle and unnecessary rejection, I'm not asking them out, I'm just telling them.

I couldn't believe that in all my years of crushing, that I never realized that I always get over my crushes straight after I tell them. It had always worked in the past.
Always worked.
Had worked.
Did work
used to work.

I had to do it, it was Thursday now, and the week was almost up. I promised myself that I would do it by the end of the week. Walk up to him, give him the card, and walk off. Three simple steps yet it seemed like rocket science. Something was trying to stop me, he was in today, and I had seen him. All week I had the confidence but he was never in, it seems that now that he is in, the confidence is gone. I had to do it, I had to.

I never in my life thought that this would happen, I had fallen in love with my brothers best friend, my best friends brother. My mortal enemy, the guy I loathed, Ryan. This wasn't Karma, this wasn't a punishment, and it was cruelty.

I still didn't know why I liked him.

Why did I like him?

Oh shit, there he is.....

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Just going to do this today, I'm going to tell him, I know what I've got to do; I think I got it down. Take a deep breath and give him the envelope.

"Come on Ashleigh you can do it, just get up and leave the classroom......Ashleigh?.....You look like and idiot, your just sitting here, the class and teacher have already left.....Ashleigh?" Tiffany said.

Haley, shakira and Kimberly were waiting by the door, I was going to do it now, I had p.e later so I would tell him and head straight to P.E.

I was scared. I was starting to over think it.

What if I give Ryan in my year the card that would be awkward? I remembered to write a G for gerson on the top right envelope to avoid confusion and a long and awkward explanation; I was giving out about 40 cards this year. I was giving one to everybody. Katie even got one; she was the girl that helped me during that party where I was tied up.