We were a little dysfunctional, but I think that's how we both liked it.
We were together for six years, which was a lot longer than most high school relationships lasted. It was constantly up and down, like we were stuck on a roller coaster and couldn't get off. Everything would go fine for a few months and then suddenly it would all come crashing down. I would tell him that he's absolutely fucking crazy and he would call me an over-emotional bitch, but I didn't even care.
Ashton would scream and I would throw things at him and in the end we would both realize how wrong we were and cry about it.
But I didn't want to trade it for anything. Ashton was everything to me, I loved him more than anything I'd ever known. He always told me that I was his whole world and I believed him. We'd fight and then two hours later we'd be back in each other's arms, crying about how sorry we were.
I honestly thought that it was going to be like that forever, but I was wrong.
One night in late April changed everything. He'd made some comment about us not having enough money and I blamed him for not having a good enough job. The screaming didn't stop, the tears never came, and Ashton and I were still fighting with each other in the morning.
Ashton packed up this things and left, he said that he didn't need this anymore and things weren't working out for us. I told him that I wasn't happy with our relationship anyway, so that was fine. He agreed and that was the last I heard from him. I didn't stop him, because I felt the same way.
I didn't think that we could work this out. I thought that it was a good choice for Ashton to leave and I didn't want to see him again. I knew that no matter what we did, we'd always run in circles like this, and I didn't want that. I felt that way for a long time, until very recently.
I began to miss the feeling of Ashton's arms wrapped around me at night, and I missed waking up in the morning to the sounds of him playing his music too loud while he got ready for work. I missed when he would call me during the day and tell me how much he loved me, and I missed the way we would lay on the couch for hours every night watching old movies. I wanted him back, but there was nothing I could do.
Ashton left eight months ago and I hadn't heard from him since. He never called to see how I was doing, he never came back to our apartment to collect the rest of the things he left behind. I didn't know if he moved out of town or if he was still somewhere nearby. It was like Ashton had completely dropped off the face of the Earth, and I was regretting not going after him when I had the chance.
I left my apartment early in the morning that Saturday to go get coffee and pick up a few things from the store. I got my mail as well, and the only thing in there besides a bunch of bills was a letter in a plain white envelope with my name on it, no return address.
I took the elevator up to the fourth floor, where my apartment was located, and scrolled through my phone as I walked down the hallway. If the person standing outside of my doorway hadn't coughed and broken me out of my trance I wouldn't have noticed them at all.
"Ashton?" I finally whispered, staring up at him. He was standing outside of my door, his hands in his pockets, as if he had been waiting for me.
"Murphy, hi." Ashton smiled back at me.
I swallowed hard at the sound of his voice. It had been so long since I'd even seen him, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to react. I thought that I'd lost Ashton forever but here he was standing in front of me and I couldn't even speak.
"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly. Ashton stepped aside and let me unlock the door, holding it open for him.
"That's all you have to say?" Ashton chuckled, following me into the kitchen. He grabbed the two shopping bags I had from my hands and set them down on the counter before turning around to face me.
