Richard & Rima

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Aunt Rima

'' It hurts so much in my heart. My heart is broken in pieces, and no one can fix it but Matthew. I love him and he loves me but we can't be together. We can't love each other, we can't. '' She sobs, I look at her with mixed emotions. I'm shocked and sad. I hate to see her like that, I hate seeing her crying. Nawal isn't that type of person who is depressed and negative, she is positive and a happy girl. She's always smiling and laughing, It's strange seeing her like that. But what's more strange is that Matthew, my biological son, and Nawal who is like my daughter loves each other. Even if I had a feeling about it It's weird to hear it from Nawal's mouth. And I knew this would happen to both of them like It didn't with me and Richard? 

'' Nawal... Listen to me honey, fight for it. '' I smile at her, she wipes her tears her away and looks at me confused. '' What do you mean Auntie? '' She asks. I sigh, '' Fight for your love, fight for each other. Even if you think It's impossible, make it possible. '' I tell her as I stroke her hand. She sniffs, '' Auntie, It's not going to work. Sejad or Baba will kill us. '' She sighs, I giggle. '' I thought the same when I was young, I thought my dad or my eldest brother would kill the man I love. '' I say, she looks at me confused. '' I was in love with an atheist too Nawal... I went through everything you're doing now. '' She widens her eyes at me, her mouth turned into an 'O'. '' Auntie... You- '' 

'' We met in high school, his name is Richard. He was the popular guy you know. Every girl in that school had either slept with him or dated him. All the guys were friends with him and they respected him. He never noticed me, but one time I fought with his girlfriend and then that was when he noticed me. He's squad bullied me and they called me names. Then one day we had a history project together, that was when we got along. We had so much fun while we were doing the project, we made fun of each other and fake beat each other. We started hanging out secretly and I can tell you, It's was the most beautiful days of my life. '' I smile at her, She doesn't say anything, but I could tell that she was shocked. '' How did you find out that you liked each other? '' She stutters.

''Every time my eyes laid on him I got these butterflies going crazy in my stomach, he always winked at me or smiled at me and that made my whole body explode. So I knew that I had feelings for him, and I thought that It was one-sided. But little did I know. '' I winked at her and she giggled. '' I noticed that all my guy friends would never talk to me again, and I thought It was very weird. I asked them why but none of them told me why, but one of them did. He told me that Richard threatened them that if they ever looked at me or talked to me he would kill them. So I decided to talk to him, we ended up arguing and we didn't talk for a week. The next week he took me to the school library and we continued arguing until he suddenly kissed me and confessed his feelings for me. After that we dated for three years, we weren't married but we still got a kid together. '' I tell her, she looks at me confused. She looks around as her mouth is still open.

'' I know, I lost my virginity before I got married. And I will never forgive myself for that, but when you're in love with someone you don't know what you are doing. You're to busy to make that person happy. I was in love with Richard, and he was in love with me. I knew that I wasn't going to have the opportunity to marry. That's why I wanted to make a family with him before I got married, and I wanted to by dirty so no one would marry me. Because I thought that I only belonged to Richard, even if we separated. I still feel like I was his and he's mine. But that's when I made a mistake. '' I sigh.

'' My father found about us, he found about Richard. He found out that I had a son, and when I was pregnant my father had no clue because he wasn't living in the USA then, he moved back to Iraq when I started high school because he had a job there. After three years he came back and found out about everything. He threatened me to kill my son and Richard. Instead of fighting for our love, I left them. I left them because I was scared that something would happen to them, that was my mistake. I wish I could go back in time and I wish I had done something. I regret it every day and I miss them so much. And I still love Richard, I love him every day and I will never stop loving him. '' I tear left my eyes. Nawal hugs me tightly, '' I'm so sorry Aunt Rima. '' I hear her whisper in my ear. I started crying, '' I met my son a few weeks ago, he looked in my eyes and even smiled at me. But of course, he didn't recognize me. '' I tell her.

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