Accidental Fangirl

Chapter Forty-Five

A/N -JUST A WARNING! THIS CHAPTER IS SO LONG AND I APOLOGIZE I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO END IT ON A CHAPTER 46 SO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY! HOPEFULLY I WILL HAVE MORE COMING SOON.

THANK YOU FOR READING

-ALISSA

Six Months Later…

 The first semester of my senior year has almost come to an end. Everything went exactly has planned and college and university applications have been sent in and I feel as though I can finally breathe.

About three months ago was the last time I had talked to Luke. And it didn’t really go all that well. For the past three months I have missed him more and more. Its been 3 months. 3 months since Luke and I both decided things haven’t been working. I fell into quite a bad depression, almost has bad as I had heard he had. Ashton would call me every once in a while and tell me how he wouldn’t eat or socialize with anyone really. Hearing those things didn’t help me though, nothing really did. Although I hadn’t seen him anyway, being able to call him mine while he was away allowed me to get through it. Now, not even being able to do that kills me inside. I push it far, far down and try not to think about it, or him at all. We tried to remain friends, but it was proven difficult. We’re friendly, but friends just weren’t working for me. Being friends and knowing that nothing will happened destroys me, knowing if I saw him all I would want to do is feel his lips on mine, or his shoulders holding me isn’t a good thing. I still followed the boys though; no matter the situation they were and still are a giant part of my life. I like to see what’s going on with them on tour, and how they are doing. From all the feedback I’ve seen on twitter, they seem to be becoming quite the popular band, and I couldn’t be prouder of them. I also noticed that they are going to be breaking for a day before starting up the North American leg of everything I’m not sure when but sometime this week I believe. Just thinking about possibly seeing Luke and the other boys hurt my heart, well not seeing the others, I would love to see them. Seeing Luke will hurt, lets just hope I don’t.

I have been hurting for the past 3 months and I have finally gotten myself back together, looking at him will just bring all emotions flooding back into me. We broke off on good terms and I don’t want to ruin that either.

I felt bad holding Luke back from living out his rockstar dreams to their full potential. I didn’t want to be the girlfriend that he worried about while he was out and could be having fun. Luke had felt the same way, he didn’t want to be the reason I stayed him and didn’t go out and have fun either. Although, by breaking things off I did that anyway. No one could get me out of bed for the majority of the summer and it wasn’t until school started again did I begin to feel like myself. Seeing people everyday helped more than I thought it would. There is this new boy that had come to the school at the beginning of the year. His name is Connor and he and I have been hanging out for the last few weeks. He knows about Luke and has been aware of it since we started talking. I didn’t want to start something and not tell the other person about my past. I like Connor, I really do, but I can never love anyone the way I loved and still do love Luke. He ruined me, I will never ever feel that way towards anyone ever again.

Sitting in English class with Connor the teacher walks in and we begin the class.

After about 20 minutes of the lesson, Connor turns to me from his desk beside mine.

“Hey, psst Aubrey?” I turn to look at him. Laughing because he knows I can hear him.

 “Yes Connor?” I ask smiling back at him.

 “Would you wanna do something tonight or tomorrow?”

I don’t have plans bit for some reason I can’t commit to doing anything this weekend. I just have a feeling and I don’t know what to do with it.