Chapter 25: Everything When There Was Nothing

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~ Everything When There Was Nothing ~

1 January 1951 ~ Ruby

 

At some point I’m not sure if I’m dead of just dreaming. My mind is too far away from my body to comprehend anything around me. Somehow, noises find their way into my ears; they sound like muffled voices or maybe footsteps, but in my head they just blur to a faint and constant buzz.

Maybe I’m on the Other Side. Maybe Enzo is already waiting for me. That would be nice; waking up to find Enzo next to me, staring at me, just like this morning when everything was fine and we still had hope. Maybe we could spend an eternity together on the Other Side just like we’d promised each other.

Then the buzzing gets louder, not so much because it actually gets louder, but because I become more aware of it. They are definitely voices.

‘- get some water, Scotty, I think she’s waking up.’ One says, sounding relieved. Why would that person be relieved? I’m dead, right? Of course I’ll wake up on the Other Side, no reason to be worried about that right? Then a pair of footsteps leaves the room without a word and the door closes with a click.

Then it hits me.

I’m not dead.

I survived that deadly fire even after I passed out next to Enzo.

Enzo! If I’m alive, then did he survive too? Oh god, what if he’s dead? It feels like I die a little inside when that thought enters my mind. I can’t lose someone else – not the love of my life. Teresa was bad, Eric was worse, but Enzo? That I can’t survive.

That wakes me up somehow. I open my eyes, squinting soon after as I realize sun light is shining into a window, even though the rays are not even close to me.

‘Ruby…’ I hear next to me, but it is not the voice I want to hear. It is not the British accent I love so much, but I roll my head to the right anyway.

When my eyes finally adjust to the light I see Mathew sitting next to the bed I’m lying on. His blue eyes eye me and ask me if I’m okay, but I have no time to answer that question.

‘Enzo?’ I say, but my voice sound rough because of the smoke. I struggle to get up to find Enzo no matter what, but Mathew pushes me back onto the pillow.

‘He’s fine.’ He says reassuring, but I’m far from reassured.

‘Where is he?’ I ask, ignoring him as I throw the blankets off.

‘He is in the room next to this one.’ Mathew answers, shaking his head. I must look like a mad person to him after almost dying in a fire, but I don’t give a damn. My mind can only think about Enzo. I need to see those chocolate brown eyes, hear his British accent and feel his strong arms around me. My feet find the comforting ground and I try to stand up, but me knees give out almost immediately. Luckily, Mathew saw that coming and he catches my arm before I can hit the ground and pushes me back on the bed.

‘I need to see him, Mathew.’ I say urging and I notice the desperation in my own voice, but again I don’t care.

‘Okay, just take your time standing up. I’ll help.’ He offers me his arm and I take it, glad I can finally see Enzo. It can hardly be more than two minutes since I woke up, but not knowing how he is, is already driving me crazy. This time I stand more slowly, but still, I have to lean against Mathew so I won’t fall again. He takes that as a cue to wrap his arm around my waist to support me.

Then I suddenly remember the same feeling when I was floating between consciousness and unconsciousness. Someone howling me up and supporting my weight. I didn’t remember until now.

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