Holding on (Vampire Diaries~Enzo)

Chapter 22: Reality

~ Reality ~

15 October 1950 ~ Ruby

 

My heart stopped beating when I laid eyes on Mathew. I mean literally. For about a minute, I couldn’t feel my heartbeat, I couldn’t hear it and it wouldn’t have surprised me if I’d died on the spot and woke up on the Other Side. Mathew’s blond hair was sticking to his face like he had been running a marathon and his eyes where darting between me and Enzo, before they focused on the little human being on the floor. The pit that had settled in my stomach since the boy came down these stairs grows upon seeing Mathew’s blue eyes widen. I feel my mouth open and close as I’m trying to get something out there. An apology, an explanation, anything. But words leave me and I just keep my mouth close as I watch Mathew realize his little brother is dead. I feel like I need to scream, but I also feel like it is not my place to be angry. But for some reason this whole situation makes me sick to the stomach. And I know everyone in the room is feeling that way.

I notice Damon’s guilt, though he is desperately trying to hide it, trying to maintain his indifferent selfish self. Enzo is also having trouble with himself and I know he wants to take my hand. But that would be wrong for so many reasons now.

The emotions I sense with Mathew are all over the place. He is still in denial as he crouches down next to his brother and stares at the lifeless body.

‘Scott?’ he whispers as if the boy is sleeping.

Scott.  

For some reason, hearing the boy’s name makes this all even worse. This kid – I need to remind myself that the boy has a name – will never be able to live a normal live. He is way too young for any of this. He must be fifteen. It’s not fair. He’ll never be able to have a life with a job and a wife and kids. That is all gone. Just like it was for me.

But the difference is that it was my choice. I wanted to be with Eric and I asked him to turn me. Scott never asked for this and he is even younger. I couldn’t handle being a vampire when I was alone. How in hell can he do it then?

My heart aches as I see the denial turn into horror on Mathew’s face. He grabs the boy’s shoulders and shakes him, screaming at him in fear.

‘Scott! Scotty?! Please wake up! Please…’ At the last ‘please’ I knew he realized his brother is gone. But the point is that he isn’t gone. Not really. And I’m not sure which is worse.

Mathew looks up with tears in his eyes and it is only then I notice the tears running down my own cheeks. Again, I struggle to say something, but the only thing that comes out is the sound of a dying animal. I need to tell him Scott will wake up. He needs to know. But I can’t find my voice.

Luckily, Enzo does.

‘Mate, you have to listen. Scott will wake up any minute. He’s going to need blood.’ I look up at Enzo – he always has the solution to a situation, always thinking ahead – and I see his jaw is clenched. He hates having to do this. Now it is my turn to ache to grab his hand. I want to squeeze his hand for the both of us. I need my rock to hold on to.

Confusion crosses Mathew’s face. Normally, he would’ve caught on in a matter of seconds, but this is a lot to take in for all of us, for him the worst.

This definitely makes the top three of worst situation along with watching Eric die and being tortured for the first time. Not sure about the order though. But watching the despair on Mathew’s face, knowing I played a part in it – as small as it is – makes me feel like a beast is feasting on my body, starting with my stomach.