Anthology for weekendwritein

Afterlife

I had no idea how I died but it was obvious I had. The white cloudy surface and the tall pearly gates were just as they had been described every day in church. There was a beautifully adorned polished wood desk off to the side of the gate with a balding middle aged guy sitting behind it. He hadn't noticed me standing there yet so I walked up and cleared my throat.

"Ah, Mr. Johnson, we've been expecting you. My name is Peter. If there's anything I can help..." he said but stopped mid-sentence looking at something behind the desk.

I waited patiently for him to continue. My name appeared behind him as if there was a giant screen there. A scrolling list of red words were flashing by with the occasion blue mixed in.

Confused I had to ask, "What are all the red words?"

"Those are your sins. The blue are dates when you asked for forgiveness which was granted. There seems to be an issue with your acceptance so I'm making sure everything is in order," Peter explained.

The scrolling came to a sudden halt with one red line just below a blue one.

"Ah, there we are. Seems you had attended church and was granted forgiveness, once again, for your sins. And there's the problem," Peter said while I watched the last red line become highlighted.

"It seems you left church and while on the freeway watched a Ferrari Spider fly past you. Your exact words were, 'Man I'd love to have one of those' which violates commandment number ten. You cannot be accepted into heaven," Peter said.

The screen behind him blinked out and was gone.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"You've attended church your whole life. You know what that means," he answered then pointed towards my right, "The elevator is over there. Bye Mr. Johnson."

I turned around and a few feet away was a plain stainless steel elevator. I looked back at Peter but he wasn't paying attention to me anymore. Not wanting to evoke the wrath of God I didn't see much choice.

The elevator ride seemed very quick and when the doors opened again another middle aged man greeted me.

"Hello there Mr. Johnson, I'm Lucifer. Sorry about your recent denial into heaven," he sighed, "Seems God is still as strict as he was in the beginning. Well come with me, we have another elevator to take."

I nervously followed him into another steel elevator. I happened to notice Lucifer touch the level one button. I felt the elevator sinking into the depths of Hell but strangely I began hearing music.

"What's that?" I asked forgetting who I was with.

"Level one is for all the minor infractions. Couldn't bring myself to punish you guys. There's unlimited alcohol and dancing. I have thousands of clubs with all kinds of stuff to do. You like comedy right? In room three thirteen George Carlin is headlining," Lucifer said with a wink.