Peter Parker Oneshots

Spider-Man Unsolved

requested by @NikkyTerra over dm

Peter always liked conspiracy videos.

Especially if they were about Spider-Man.

So when he saw that Buzzfeed Unsolved was live on a video about Spider-Man, he was beyond excited.

"This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we investigate the identity of Spider-Man, New York's local vigilante and Avenger as of the Infinity War," Ryan began, looking into the camera with a bit of a grin.

Shane snapped his fingers with a sinister smile, then nodded self-importantly. "Is that- is that your Thanos impression?" Ryan asked, laughing.

"Yes it was," Shane confirmed. "Mad Titan dude."

"Speaking of the Avengers, we are taking quite a chance with another Avenger episode," Ryan pointed out. The duo were silent for a few seconds. "Nah, it's fine!" Shane exclaimed, laughing. "It's totally fine! Just a billionaire, assassin, super soldier, raging monster- you know what? I'm not listing them all," Ryan decided, grinning.

"Yeah, it'd be super easy for them to find us. But ya know. Nobody needs to sleep at night, right?" Shane asked. "Oh, no, who's heard of sleep?" Ryan added.

A picture of Spider-Man came up on the screen. "Spider-Man first appeared on the streets of Queens on November 12, 2015. He stopped a bus from crashing into a river when it had spun off the road. That was the first noticeable appearance of the Spider-Man."

Peter muffled a laugh. The Spider-Man. It made him sound so official.

"The catch was estimated to be about a thousand pounds worth of impact force. That was the first sign that the vigilante was not simply a good-fighter-but-normal-person-in-a-hoodie." Shane started laughing. "I still can't get over that he caught a bus wearing a hoodie." He wheezed out.

Peter frowned at the screen. "They can't all be winners," He muttered at the video, even still holding back a laugh.

"Well he has super-strength. And we assume he was just a normal person, at least until the Avengers noticed him. He probably wouldn't have a lot of options," Ryan pointed out.

"Thank you," He exclaimed, pointing at the screen, ignoring the fact that no one was around. "Someone gets it!"

"Whatever you say, Ryan," Shane said, shaking his head. A picture of a newspaper with Spider-Man on it showed up on the screen. "Over the next few months, Spider-Man's fame grew. Even a popular Vine featured someone sporting his suit. Of course, it all changed when the Civil War began among the Avengers."

Shane started laughing again. "I still can't believe they like- had broken up. I know it's fixed now, but how does a group of fucking superheroes just- break up?" Ryan just chuckled and returned to the video.

"It is widely believed that Tony Stark tracked down Spider-Man in order to recruit him for the war, and take him to Leipzig. That is where Spider-Man got his improved suit. However, after the war, things seemed to return to normal. It proceeded that way for about two months. But at that point, a villain known as the Vulture was stealing Chitauri technology from the streets. The first major incident regarding the Vulture was when he and his colleagues robbed a few ATMs and Spider-Man stopped the crime. Unfortunately, the fight subsequently caused the destruction of the location, and the deli across the street. Thankfully, Spider-Man was able to make sure everyone was safe."

"Wait, wait, wait," Shane interjected. "This guy steals tech from the invasion of 2012, and then uses it to rob an ATM?" He laughed. Ryan hesitated. "Yeah, man, what else would you do with it? Try and help people? That's just stupid."