Peter Parker Oneshots

Thanks for the Knife

Peter was having a generally crappy day. When Tony shoved the signed field trip form at him, then ushered him out the door, he was scared. He had refused to tell Peter where he was going. But Peter saw him give an evil smile when he was out of the tower, and he decided after school, wherever they went, they might have to have a long chat. "Have a good day!" Tony called out the window. "You too, I think!" Peter replied, running to catch up to Ned, who was just coming out of his house. Then the other bits - he was shot yesterday in the shoulder, which still hurt like a bitch. Ned had helped him pull it out so that Mr. Stark didn't know. Apart from that, he was also thrown into a wall, punched in the face, and nearly choked to death. 

"Hey Ned, where are we going?" Peter asked quickly. Ned turned to him. "You don't know?" "May didn't tell me!" "You are so screwed." "Why? Where are we going?" Ned paused. "What would a good guy in the chair do?" He pondered aloud. "They would TELL ME!" "Okay, you're right. We're going to-" "Nowhere!" MJ yelled as she ran up. "We are going nowhere, and you don't get to know until we're there." Peter rolled his eyes. He had "Stark Internship" after school, so he had stored his badge in his backpack, along with a note from Clint regarding the prank war teams. 

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"Peter, we're leaving, come on!" Ned whispered in his ear. Peter dragged himself out of the classroom and through the hallways to the bus loop. "Ned. Where. Are. We. Going?" He asked for the trillionth time. "Not telling." "Ned." "Peter." "Ned." "Peter." "NED!!!"  "PETER!!!" Peter tossed his hands in the air and climbed the ridiculously tall steps. "Ms. Watson, where are we going?" Peter asked the teacher from the seat he claimed next to Ned and across the aisle from MJ. The woman paused as Ned and MJ screamed various negatives and eventually smiled sympathetically at Peter and turned away. Michelle stuck her tongue out at Peter.

But when the bus stopped, and Peter looked out the window, he cursed inside his brain. "GUYS!" Peter yelled, spinning to face the two. "SERIOUSLY? THIS IS WHERE WE'RE GOING?" He knew he must look angry. But he was really just scared. The Avengers were going to embarrass the hell out of him.

"Yeah, Parker. Guess your internship lie is about to be revealed!" Flash crowed from the back. "It's not a lie, Flash," Peter said mechanically. MJ opened her mouth to add likely a few rather colorful embellishments, but Peter clapped a hand over her mouth from across the;./. "ANYWAYS." Midtown High tittered in the back of the bus. "I'm going to kill you. I'm going to murder both of you in cold blood." Ned laughed. "Complete lie." Peter glared at him. MJ punched him in the shoulder, yelling something Peter's hand muffled, and Peter yanked his arm back. "Ow! What the hell, MJ?" Michelle looked at him, baffled. "Oh, yeah, you didn't know." Peter lowered his voice. "Yeah I was shot in the shoulder yesterday." "What the fuck? Are you ok?" MJ gave him a concerned once-over. "Yeah I was just being a bit clumsy." The girl rolled her eyes. "wHoOpS, i GoT sHoT, gUeSs I wAs JuSt BeInG cLuMsY," She said mockingly.

When the kids got out of the bus, Peter realized the situation was much, much worse than he realized. When he saw a brief glimpse of Nat's signature red hair, and Clint's bow and arrow, he almost had a heart attack. When the duo came out to greet them, Peter was about to punch them. 

Nobody expected the first words out of their mouths to be: "Hey, Peter, crappy job of hiding you've done." Peter, who had retreated behind Ned, facepalmed. "Hey Mr. Barton, Mrs. Romanoff," He said quickly. Clint gaped at him in mock offense. "Peter! What happened to Uncle Clint? You've been calling me that for years!" "And what about Auntie Tasha?" Nat said, crossing her arms. "This is just an affront." Peter's face burned as his class all turned to stare at him, a mixture of awe, jealousy, and maybe a tiny bit of anger. In Flash's eyes, at least. 

"Sorry, guys," Peter mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "You can apologize by calling us our proper names," Clint retorted. "I'm sorry, Uncle Clint, Auntie Tasha," Peter amended. The super spies nodded, satisfied.