A Mother's Bond

39

This update takes place the morning before the last update.  Lol, don't ask me why I keep doing this. I have no answers for you. Not one. Okay, enjoooy.

Beyoncé September 30, 2016
I rolled over, habitually feeling around for Jay before reality set in. I sighed, rolling back over to my side of the bed. I wondered how much time would have to pass before I stopped reaching for him. It had already been nearly two months since I'd kicked him out. Almost two months since...I shook off the morbid thought, sitting up. I rubbed my eyes tiredly. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand. It was just past 8:00 am. I had gotten less than three hours of sleep, as per usual. I sighed, standing up.

"Whatever," I mumbled, my voice rough. "Who needs sleep?"

I trudged to the bathroom and got ready for the day, popping my usual two pills. I walked downstairs to the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, but annoyingly nonetheless, Solange was sitting on a barstool eating breakfast. I rolled my eyes, taking out my breakfast.

"I thought I told you to leave my fucking house." I growled.

Solange took a bite of her cereal, completely unfazed by my anger. Why would she be fazed? She'd been up my ass for the better part of a month. She was well acquainted with my stank attitude.

Solo shrugged. "You say that every day. Why should I start caring now?"

I sneered at her and slammed the fridge door closed. I poured milk into my bowl of cereal, glaring at Solange.

"Why can't you just go home? It's been damn near a month."

She looked up at me. "Because you need me, simple as that."

I made a face. "I am a grown woman. I don't need you. You know who needs you? That 11-year-old son of yours. That geriatric husband of yours probably needs you too. What's he gonna do when he's fallen, and he can't get up?"

I snickered, walking past her to sit at the kitchen table. Solo scowled.

"Julez is with his dad; he's fine. And I'm gonna let that Alan comment go because I know you're hurting."

I rolled my eyes and plopped down in a chair. I picked up my spoon and began the tedious process of eating. Solange got up and sat right next to me. I groaned.

"There are six other seats at this table, go find one," I snapped.

"Bey, talk to me, please. I'm worried about you."

I smacked my lips. "You are so far up my ass that you're breathing out my damn mouth. You've already taken over my house, can I at least have my personal space?" I scooted my chair away from her. "Got damn. Always all up in people's business. Need to back the fuck up," I muttered under my breath.

Solange peered at me for a second before shaking her head again. "This is why Jay has Blue. This behavior right here."

I glared at her. Without warning I stood up, grabbed her bowl and whipped it at the wall. The bowl shattered, its contents flying everywhere. Solange stared at me in shock. I leaned down, getting in her face.

"Don't you ever say some shit like that again because next time, I won't aim at the wall."

I turned on my heels and stalked up the stairs. Once I was safely in my room, I shut the door, locking it. I sat on my bed and cried. I knew I was out of control, but honestly, I couldn't remember what it felt like to be in control. I hadn't felt in control since Sarayah was abducted when she was four.

How someone could up and take someone's child was beyond me. How that person could keep that child away from her mother for 11 years frustrated me beyond belief. How that same person could come back and snatch the child away again enraged me. How was she still out there? Why hadn't the police caught her?