A Mother's Bond

28

Sarayah July 27, 2016
As soon as Beyoncé put the jeep in park, I hopped out and ran into the house. I went straight to my room, shutting the door behind me. I sat on my bed and reflexively reached for my phone only to remember Beyoncé had taken it away weeks ago.

Beyoncé. I groaned and lay down, staring up at the ceiling. I couldn't believe her. Psychoanalysing me like she knew anything about me. She didn't know shit about me. Miss her? She had truly reached new levels of insanity. I didn't miss her. I didn't even know her. How could I miss her?

I rolled onto my side, staring out the window. I missed my old life: my friends, my shitty apartment with its sketchy neighbours, my mama. Sure, this life was a lot easier, but it wasn't mine. I still felt like an outsider. I had been gone too long. Maybe if they'd found me when I was younger...but now it was too late. I was too different. I'd already done most of my growing up. What was there left to do?

I heard a timid knock on my door. I briefly turned around, but then sighed, facing the window again. I didn't feel like hearing any more lectures from people who barely knew me.

"Sarayah?" came a whisper.

I raised an eyebrow, sitting up. "Julez?"

The door opened a crack, and a curly head poked through. I smiled softly and motioned for him to sit on my bed. Julez was like Blue. He would always be welcome. We may have just met, but I felt comfortable around him. He was my little buddy.

Julez smiled shyly and walked in. He carefully sat on my bed, looking down at his hands. I watched him, confused by his sudden change in demeanor. Where was the playful kid I met earlier?

"You okay, little man?" I asked, gently ruffling his curls.

He played with his fingers, refusing to make eye contact. "Do you like being my cousin?"

He looked up at me then, his green eyes shining. "I'd understand if you didn't. We just met, and who'd wanna hang out with a random 11-year-old? You're probably just nice to me because you have to be."

I looked at him, shocked by his new attitude. Where was this coming from? He'd seemed so confident before. I pulled him into a hug and stroked his hair like my dad did to me on the jet. I didn't have a lot of experience with comforting people, but this felt right.

He cried against my shoulder. I felt a lump growing in my throat. I didn't understand why I even felt bad. He was right. I had just met him. But for some reason I still cared about him. I wanted to protect him, like Blue. So, I started talking.

"Of course, I like being your cousin, Julez. You're a really cool kid. I mean, I haven't met too many 11-year-olds, but I can tell you're way better than all of them. Plus, I've always wanted a cousin. I haven't been excited for much lately, but I was really excited to meet you because I knew I'd have an automatic partner in crime."

He shook his head, still hiding in my shoulder. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

I chuckled, realizing I was being completely honest. "Weirdly enough, I'm not lying for once. When I was...away, I didn't have much, but I was okay with that. I didn't want any material things. What really got to me was the loneliness. All I really wanted was a family, well, a traditional one. I wanted a sister, or a brother. Someone that would always have my back."

I could feel him settling down. "You have Blue, you don't need me."

I nodded. "I do have Blue, but she's a little too young. She would sell me out to my parents for a cookie."

Julez laughed, pulling slightly away from me. I smiled, continuing. "Actually, they probably wouldn't even have to offer her anything. They would just have to stare at her for a few seconds and she'd burst out laughing and tell them everything."