A Mother's Bond

23

Beyoncé July 27, 2016
I sat on my bed, picking at the comforter, procrastinating. The last thing I wanted to do was call her. I knew she must've been pissed that I'd kept this from her.

Jay paused his unpacking to look up at me. "You're gonna have to talk to her eventually. Mama T invited her to the cookout, so you're gonna see her."

I groaned. "This is all your fault. You know that, right? All I wanted to do was fix things before I got more people involved, and now you've taken that choice from me. And to top it all off, my whole family's gonna be mad that I wasn't the one who told them. You had no right to insert yourself into my business."

He scrunched up his face. "Your business? Last time I checked this is my family too."

"You don't get it, Jay! You really don't, and you never will, because unlike me, you get to actually be her parent. Don't think I didn't hear her call you 'Dad'. She still won't even shorten my name to 'Bey'. So don't act all high and mighty like you understand the shit I'm being put through. Sarayah has done nothing but show the utmost disdain for me, and now you're about to let my whole family watch. You don't see something wrong with that?"

"Listen Bey. I know it's hard, which is why I let you do things your way for so long. But shit ain't getting better. If I honestly thought you two could figure things out on your own, I would have gladly stayed out of it. But it's been over three weeks, Bey. I get that you don't want to be embarrassed, but you can't keep hiding our child. Most of the family still thought Sarayah was missing or dead. You don't see something wrong with that?"

He closed his suitcase and left the room. I couldn't say I was surprised. His patience with me seemed to be decreasing with each passing day.

I sighed, returning my attention to my phone. I couldn't put this off any longer. I unlocked my phone and called her, mentally preparing myself for the wrath of Kelendria Trene Rowland. She picked up on the last ring.

"Hmph."

I cringed. "Hey Kellz."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT, GISELLE!?! DON'T YOU 'HEY KELLZ' ME, BITCH. 'KELLZ' IS RESERVED FOR MY FRIENDS. CLEARLY THAT AIN'T YOUR SNEAKY, SLITHERING, LYING, DISLOYAL–"

I sighed. "Kelly–"

"SERPENT-LOVING, PUNK ASS! AND DON'T YOU 'KELLY' ME EITHER!"

I could hear her breath heaving through the phone as she tried to calm herself down.

"Kelly–"

"How could you just sit there and lie? I asked you straight up who the girl in the picture was. I asked you. It took me so long to even work up the courage to touch on that subject because I was so afraid of upsetting you. Of hurting you. I was thinking about you and your feelings, when you clearly didn't give a shit about mine."

My bottom lip trembled. "I'm sorry, Kelly. I really am."

She took a few deep breaths. "Do you know how much I cried after you told me it wasn't her? It brought up all the shit from the past. And there you were, knowing she was safe and sound the whole fucking time."

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"We all loved her, Bey, in case you forgot. She was our family too, blood or no blood. How could you keep this from us?"

I sniffled. "I don't know."

"BULLSHIT, BEY. BULL FUCKING SHIT. I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND. YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING FROM WHAT YOUR SHIT LOOKS LIKE TO JAY CHEATING ON YOU. SO WHY COULDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY FOUND OUR BABY GIRL?"